Thursday, August 20, 2009

give me a goal i can sink my teeth into

"disappointment equals the difference between expectation and reality"

i think everyone who has ever attempted this crazy thing called weight loss has felt disappointment. as i was reading an excerpt from living the low carb life by jonny bowden... that quote struck a chord with me. too often i have expected results or set goals far too lofty to achieve... and what does that do? it promptly causes a crash and burn scenario. "well, i might as well not exercise today" or "if i'm not losing, why not eat this cake?"

unfortunately for me and for many, goals are what pull us through the crazy mess of weight loss. acheiving them gives us the mental push and excitment to stay on course. the key, i guess, is to make goals... but only those that are reasonable. i've learned to extend my deadlines and to see the positives in the day to day struggles. and yet, i'm still having trouble recognizing how far i've come, i fear that if i accept any sort of success... i'll become completely complacent and revert suddenly to my old self. irrational thinking, i know, but it all comes down to the mental aspect of weight loss. the part that i have to catch up on, and i'm guessing it will take quite a while. i lived almost my entire life as that person, i lived as an overweight girl who stereotypically relied on intelligence and humor to interact with practically everyone. don't get me wrong, i pride myself on both my intelligence and humor... but i look forward to getting to know this self, or maybe just reconcile what i thought i was and who i actually am.

thus ends my rambling for this evening.

in other news... today i jogged 5k in 40:42!! slow, but holy crap! the last 7 minutes were torture... well maybe not torture, but i sure as heck wanted to stop at every moment. (this feat gave me that super elated wonderful, i can do anything feeling) then i did the 30 day shred and thought "why on earth did i do both today?!", then i drank a ton o' water and took a well deserved rest.


  1. small goals are best. big goals are what we all think we need in order to get where we want. I've had too many large goals for too long and sadly I haven't reached any of them. I LOVE that you make the small goals...the only thing is I think you NEED to recognize even the smaller ones...and that doesn't mean complacentcy... I don't understand the lifelong feeling of being overweight but YOU ARE NOT ANYMORE! I hope you can embrace your new body and life and not remain in the "fat stage" especially because it is just in your mind.

    Congrats on your continued success and keep it up!

  2. Completely understand how that is. For me, my perspective, it's all confidence. Confidence in yourself, in your abilities, in your choices. Confidence that you'll be able to look after yourself. At least that's what it's been for me, trying to work on that and I think I'm getting there.

    I don't think it has to take a long time, and I don't think those doubts and fears ever truly go away. I think there's a point where you can identify them but still do what you need to do anyway. And you'll get there :)

    And HUGE congrats on conquering the 5K! Epic win! :D 5K + shred? INSANE!

  3. LOL, I just read this after having a slight panic about my weight-loss goal. Of course, now I feel silly as it is the many other goals along the way that are more important. Achieving better health, doing new things, wearing nicer clothes, doing a 5K, and many more...

    I am struggling with doing a whole 5K withoutstoppingoranything still, but WOO-HOO you! You got it in the bag!