what's this feeling?

so for all you musical theatre dorks out there... my post title makes me sing loathing from wicked in my head... LOVE it. i also HEART glee, so if you haven't watched the pilot... watch it and then watch the premiere next wednesday. musical theatre dork tv heaven.

today, dare i say it... i felt cute! not like "oh, i'm not terrible looking", but honest to goodness attractive and i liked it. don't worry, i'm not getting all big headed or anything, but it was one of those firsts or realizations that made me step back. as a larger lady, i often felt that i looked good, but in all honesty i almost always had some sort of "but" to go along with that thought. "this dress looks great on me, but i wish my calves were smaller" "my hair is really shiny today, but my jiggly arms will distract anyone from that" screw those "buts" people!! we don't need them, no one should ever have to analyze themselves that way! i know i'll continue to do it (i'll strive not to of course), but i hope we can all have days like today where for some reason those "buts" were abandoned by the way side.

i realize this is neurotic, but we all seem to find the flaws in ourselves that others don't even notice... or they notice them and don't care! idk what about today made me feel that way. no one said anything out of the ordinary, no ups man gave me the eye (although i do love my ups man for calling me skinny and being proactive at telling me how great i look). it was definitely a fleeting feeling, but my word it was fantastic!

2 runs down, shred/pilates last night.... i'm feeling the burn folks.

cheers to getting rid of the "buts" as well as any extra butt you'd like to be rid of :)