i felt pretty

it was a fleeting feeling, but gosh darn it...i will take what i can get.

accepting how others view me positively instead of questioning their sanity is HUGE for me. "oh, i'm charming, funny, cute and pretty? if you say so!" i think everyone has a hard time accepting compliments... but after weight loss it's like those normal insecurities are magnified by your own disbelief. if you don't see your new self, you can't comprehend how others see you.

in the last two weeks i have gone out several times and felt like a normal girl, dolled up and having a good time out on the town. a girl people want to dance with, talk to and have fun with. looking back i think of it as strange (baby steps people), but in the midst of it...i felt comfortable. i felt confident and that is something to shake a stick at. i wish i could take that confidence and bottle it up.

on the exercise front, kettlebell is kicking ass! (including mine, lol) i currently have serious forearm bruises that indicate some very poor form, woops! i researched online and realized i need to "tame my arc" as in most things, form is key. i'm really digging the kettlebell. it's challenging and makes me feel strong. good stuff.

hahaha, i just ordered a swimsuit online...who does that? it's like ordering a bra online (for any men reading this, one should never assume a bra will fit based on the size it claims to be) but the suit is super duper adorable. RED. vintage style. not as esther williams as i hoped, but close enough. ordering online is risky business, but i tried the same style on in the store and just needed the next size down...here's hoping! i'm going out of town next weekend and really want to spend time in the hotel pool. a new swimsuit was necessary as my old one came down with a bad case of saggy bum syndrome.