LIFE

life happens and you can't stop it! idk about all of you, but time has been passing far too quickly lately. i guess it's a part of being an adult and having a full-time job yadda yadda yadda...

nothing earth shattering has happened since i last posted. i was right about the wily mr. scale and i've been holding steady at slightly above 150, lol. i've had a few days in the last few weeks where i consumed waaaay to much food, and was then reminded how terrible that makes me feel both physically and mentally. i still struggle, but i'm amazed at how my life has changed in the last year. for instance, i went out of town last weekend and i am proud to say i exercised both days at the hotel's fitness center. it felt normal and exhilarating to exercise outside of my normal routine.

i am taking the gre next weekend already, aaah... it'll be fine, i got this in the bag yo or at least that's what i tell myself :) i do have 3 recommendations confirmed and working on their letters, so that's good! idk if this program will work out, but i'm excited to get started on whatever's next :)

my mind just imploded

scales are stupid. scales lie. scales are not friendly, they are cold inanimate objects. they state facts. they don't care how you feel about their facts. for the last few weeks i've been attempting to re-train my thought process. seeing the scale for what it is... a tool. it's not my friend... even if when it says something positive i feel like i just got a bear hug from it. it's not my enemy... even if i wanna throw it out the window when it tells me something i don't want to hear (but always resist because then how would i weigh myself?!! lol). i'm getting better at distancing myself... somewhat.

my new work out plan makes me feel incredible and i think that makes the scale thing less of an issue.

but then mr. scale gets wily. he realizes i'm abandoning my dependency on him... and he does something crazy...

for the last 2 days mr. scale told me that i weigh 149.4... and the day before that 149.6.

and as i previously mentioned, my mind imploded.

but you know what? maybe he'll say 151 tomorrow. i'll still be here, doing my thang. it's hard and i don't think we'll ever really break up... but mr. scale can take a seat on the back burner as far as i'm concerned.

workin' for the weekend

yay friday! less than an hour to go and i am ready for the weekend. i like the nuns, but ever since i started my p/t job every other weekend these precious few weekends off of work are more and more important to me. and more jam packed with fun! well, lately it's been fun staying in my pjs all day and being a non-working blob, lol. this weekend will be relaxing and fun, but of a different sort. i'm off to madison! i will be staying in the guest bedroom at a friends, so it's practically like being in a hotel and we will be celebrating my birthday (yes, from december, haha) madison style.

i have been very dedicated to my new work out schedule. the scale has remained steady, but i am feeling and seeing differences in myself already. it's been about 2 full weeks of this new weight training and cardio mix. and i think i like it! last night i looked at myself in the mirror and was literally taken aback. i was completely shocked, this is me now? what? i felt proud of myself, and it was nice to feel... i tend to (like lost of us) see the negatives that remain rather than the immense accomplishments i've already achieved. and gosh darn it, i hope this feeling of accomplishment lasts forever!

today will be my rest day due to the driving time, but i'll head over to the ymca in madison tomorrow.

have a great weekend folks!