I went! :) and here's a crazy blurry sweaty face pic to brighten your morning. thanks iphone4!

festival season

in milwaukee, wi, summer is festival season! there is a festival every weekend at our wonderful lakefront festival grounds. summerfest, the music festival, is always my favorite. it starts at the end of this month and is 10 days long. almost every weekend has some sort of festival, i love it! this weekend is polish fest and i don't think i can resist the 5o cent admission offer tomorrow. :) polish sausage? probably. polish dancing? definitely. vodka? certainly. i'm thinking of telling my guy to meet me there tomorrow after work.

which reminds me that i haven't seen my guy in a week, which is kinda normal for us due to our schedules, but it SUCKS SO MUCH. we mutually agree how terrible it is, i work early morning to mid afternoon, he has class from mid afternoon until 7pm four days a week with quizzes daily and exams weekly... and then i work every other weekend UGH. he's free tonight after class, but if i want a full nights sleep, i have to go to sleep by 9 and he gets home at 7:30 and lives 20 minutes away. blurg. until tomorrow, i can handle it, i'm an adult. a terribly impatient adult! it's nice that he is studious and dedicated to his schooling, but sometimes i wish he wasn't, lol.

softball was awesome this week! i love it and i'm glad my neighbors randomly asked me to play on their team. i've only gone jogging twice since my last post, but that's more than nothin! i am going jogging tomorrow morning, pinky swear to blog land. (brandi!) ask me how it went tomorrow! :)

June, it's bustin' out all over

ok folks, once a month is poor form, but hopefully i'll have a bit more free time for the next few months. i dropped the one summer class i had registered for, i realized i was pushing myself to take it unnecessarily. and i need a break! well, at least a break from 2 jobs/school, 2 jobs is fine for the summer.

this weekend is pridefest in milwaukee. i went last night with my friend (my exericise friend from a few posts ago), he has lost 45 pounds! and he was celebrating last night :) it was fun and freezing! i almost considered drinking more for warmth, but drinks were spensive and i'm far too cheap for that, lol.

i am really nervous about my bridesmaid dress fitting in 2 weeks, and i know it's completely irrational... regardless i am freaking out! i know i am the same size from when we ordered them, but the thought of not fitting is giving me heart palpitations. i like shopping and trying on clothes now. however, strangers watching and judging seems just a tad scary.

my guy is still good, he is busy with summer classes that make it quite difficult to see each other. it's frustrating, but he's worth it. now, if i could only get rid of this whole "being an emotional girl" thing, i'd be good! lol. man, guys... i'm a rational lady, but my goodness, my mind can act a fool sometimes aka being a girl is stupid.

weight wise i'm feeling good, hovering right around 150. it would be nice to be in the 140s solidly, and i think that will take consistent exercise... still working on it. BUT i did join a softball team! it's not the most strenuous sport, but it's a good time and i love team sports. i can't believe i haven't played one in so long!

i wish you all well!

long-term commitment

weight loss is a long-term commitment. it's hard. i just finished my first year of grad school part-time, job #1 full-time and job #2 part-time. it's hard too.... but worth it :)

with about 3 weeks before my summer class begins, i figure there is no time like the present to recommit. recommit to my health and sanity. i need to feel strong again, and i'm going to take the time to make delicious low carb meals, sleep well and exercise to my hearts content (which may be rough at first, i'm waaay off the horse in comparison to last year at this time).

so cheers! cheers to everyone and spring and happiness.

spring fever... or something like it

antsy... i'm antsy. it was unseasonably warm here for a few days... it went from -10 to above 40 overnight, crazy hot for february in wisconsin. i think my body/mind is confused, but in a good "let's go for a run" kind of way. i have yet to get in a routine with my classes this semester (more on that later), and that is hindering the exercise schedule (aka complete lack of exercise).

i had a mental breakthrough today... about health and happiness. i'm losing that feeling, that immense, overpowering feeling of strength. that feeling i had after finish the quarter marathon or after an early morning run with tallulah panting beside me. i want it back and i'm going to get it :) i am also up a few pounds this month, and even though i'm still ok weight wise, the mind is quick to FREAK OUT.

the guy is wonderful. more than wonderful. sigh-inducing wonderful. it's difficult because my schedule is jam-packed and he is now a full-time student, but we see each other when we can and i think we're on the same page. (we have both met each others parents...talk about nerve-wracking!) the fact that there is a guy still takes me aback, the same way the reflection in the mirror occasionally catches me off guard. i'm no longer the old me, but she'll always be with me.

life, happiness and other loverly things

good gracious! it's been ages. thanks to chai's comment, i was reminded of how much i missed blogging and the lovely blog friends i truly cherish for supporting me throughout my weight loss and after :)

i am maintaining right around 150, and that is good :) i started grad school, met a boy, moved into my first solo apartment (well, besides the adorable tallulah) and turned 26 in the last 4 months of 2010... it's been eventful to say the least. i love my grad program, but working full-time, going to school part-time and working part-time is quite the feat! and has wreaked havoc on my exercise schedule... which is currently non-existent. however, i have a wonderful, fabulous friend who is hoping to lose some weight and may be my perfect gym buddy (that's us in the photobooth, we have too much fun). now... to just fit that into my ridiculous schedule.

the boy. he is pretty wonderful. we connected via the interwebs. i like him :) and he bought tallulah a christmas present... swoon, lol.

i just got my grades for the semester A and A-, i really wanted the 4.0, but i'll take it :)

now to catch up with you lovely peoples. i can't wait to hear about your successes!

happy 2011 folks! it's gonna be a good one.

i felt pretty

it was a fleeting feeling, but gosh darn it...i will take what i can get.

accepting how others view me positively instead of questioning their sanity is HUGE for me. "oh, i'm charming, funny, cute and pretty? if you say so!" i think everyone has a hard time accepting compliments... but after weight loss it's like those normal insecurities are magnified by your own disbelief. if you don't see your new self, you can't comprehend how others see you.

in the last two weeks i have gone out several times and felt like a normal girl, dolled up and having a good time out on the town. a girl people want to dance with, talk to and have fun with. looking back i think of it as strange (baby steps people), but in the midst of it...i felt comfortable. i felt confident and that is something to shake a stick at. i wish i could take that confidence and bottle it up.

on the exercise front, kettlebell is kicking ass! (including mine, lol) i currently have serious forearm bruises that indicate some very poor form, woops! i researched online and realized i need to "tame my arc" as in most things, form is key. i'm really digging the kettlebell. it's challenging and makes me feel strong. good stuff.

hahaha, i just ordered a swimsuit online...who does that? it's like ordering a bra online (for any men reading this, one should never assume a bra will fit based on the size it claims to be) but the suit is super duper adorable. RED. vintage style. not as esther williams as i hoped, but close enough. ordering online is risky business, but i tried the same style on in the store and just needed the next size down...here's hoping! i'm going out of town next weekend and really want to spend time in the hotel pool. a new swimsuit was necessary as my old one came down with a bad case of saggy bum syndrome.