She Ain't Heavy

2011-06-17T05:41:00.003-05:00

I went! :) and here's a crazy blurry sweaty face pic to brighten your morning. thanks iphone4!

festival season

2011-06-16T16:46:00.002-05:00

in milwaukee, wi, summer is festival season! there is a festival every weekend at our wonderful lakefront festival grounds. summerfest, the music festival, is always my favorite. it starts at the end of this month and is 10 days long. almost every weekend has some sort of festival, i love it! this weekend is polish fest and i don't think i can resist the 5o cent admission offer tomorrow. :) polish sausage? probably. polish dancing? definitely. vodka? certainly. i'm thinking of telling my guy to meet me there tomorrow after work.

which reminds me that i haven't seen my guy in a week, which is kinda normal for us due to our schedules, but it SUCKS SO MUCH. we mutually agree how terrible it is, i work early morning to mid afternoon, he has class from mid afternoon until 7pm four days a week with quizzes daily and exams weekly... and then i work every other weekend UGH. he's free tonight after class, but if i want a full nights sleep, i have to go to sleep by 9 and he gets home at 7:30 and lives 20 minutes away. blurg. until tomorrow, i can handle it, i'm an adult. a terribly impatient adult! it's nice that he is studious and dedicated to his schooling, but sometimes i wish he wasn't, lol.

softball was awesome this week! i love it and i'm glad my neighbors randomly asked me to play on their team. i've only gone jogging twice since my last post, but that's more than nothin! i am going jogging tomorrow morning, pinky swear to blog land. (brandi!) ask me how it went tomorrow! :)

June, it's bustin' out all over

2011-06-11T10:36:00.005-05:00

ok folks, once a month is poor form, but hopefully i'll have a bit more free time for the next few months. i dropped the one summer class i had registered for, i realized i was pushing myself to take it unnecessarily. and i need a break! well, at least a break from 2 jobs/school, 2 jobs is fine for the summer.

this weekend is pridefest in milwaukee. i went last night with my friend (my exericise friend from a few posts ago), he has lost 45 pounds! and he was celebrating last night :) it was fun and freezing! i almost considered drinking more for warmth, but drinks were spensive and i'm far too cheap for that, lol.

i am really nervous about my bridesmaid dress fitting in 2 weeks, and i know it's completely irrational... regardless i am freaking out! i know i am the same size from when we ordered them, but the thought of not fitting is giving me heart palpitations. i like shopping and trying on clothes now. however, strangers watching and judging seems just a tad scary.

my guy is still good, he is busy with summer classes that make it quite difficult to see each other. it's frustrating, but he's worth it. now, if i could only get rid of this whole "being an emotional girl" thing, i'd be good! lol. man, guys... i'm a rational lady, but my goodness, my mind can act a fool sometimes aka being a girl is stupid.

weight wise i'm feeling good, hovering right around 150. it would be nice to be in the 140s solidly, and i think that will take consistent exercise... still working on it. BUT i did join a softball team! it's not the most strenuous sport, but it's a good time and i love team sports. i can't believe i haven't played one in so long!

i wish you all well!

long-term commitment

2011-05-16T20:45:00.002-05:00

weight loss is a long-term commitment. it's hard. i just finished my first year of grad school part-time, job #1 full-time and job #2 part-time. it's hard too.... but worth it :)

with about 3 weeks before my summer class begins, i figure there is no time like the present to recommit. recommit to my health and sanity. i need to feel strong again, and i'm going to take the time to make delicious low carb meals, sleep well and exercise to my hearts content (which may be rough at first, i'm waaay off the horse in comparison to last year at this time).

so cheers! cheers to everyone and spring and happiness.

spring fever... or something like it

2011-02-19T20:14:00.003-06:00

antsy... i'm antsy. it was unseasonably warm here for a few days... it went from -10 to above 40 overnight, crazy hot for february in wisconsin. i think my body/mind is confused, but in a good "let's go for a run" kind of way. i have yet to get in a routine with my classes this semester (more on that later), and that is hindering the exercise schedule (aka complete lack of exercise).

i had a mental breakthrough today... about health and happiness. i'm losing that feeling, that immense, overpowering feeling of strength. that feeling i had after finish the quarter marathon or after an early morning run with tallulah panting beside me. i want it back and i'm going to get it :) i am also up a few pounds this month, and even though i'm still ok weight wise, the mind is quick to FREAK OUT.

the guy is wonderful. more than wonderful. sigh-inducing wonderful. it's difficult because my schedule is jam-packed and he is now a full-time student, but we see each other when we can and i think we're on the same page. (we have both met each others parents...talk about nerve-wracking!) the fact that there is a guy still takes me aback, the same way the reflection in the mirror occasionally catches me off guard. i'm no longer the old me, but she'll always be with me.

life, happiness and other loverly things

2011-01-09T09:01:00.006-06:00

good gracious! it's been ages. thanks to chai's comment, i was reminded of how much i missed blogging and the lovely blog friends i truly cherish for supporting me throughout my weight loss and after :)

i am maintaining right around 150, and that is good :) i started grad school, met a boy, moved into my first solo apartment (well, besides the adorable tallulah) and turned 26 in the last 4 months of 2010... it's been eventful to say the least. i love my grad program, but working full-time, going to school part-time and working part-time is quite the feat! and has wreaked havoc on my exercise schedule... which is currently non-existent. however, i have a wonderful, fabulous friend who is hoping to lose some weight and may be my perfect gym buddy (that's us in the photobooth, we have too much fun). now... to just fit that into my ridiculous schedule.

the boy. he is pretty wonderful. we connected via the interwebs. i like him :) and he bought tallulah a christmas present... swoon, lol.

i just got my grades for the semester A and A-, i really wanted the 4.0, but i'll take it :)

now to catch up with you lovely peoples. i can't wait to hear about your successes!

happy 2011 folks! it's gonna be a good one.

i felt pretty

2010-07-18T18:44:00.007-05:00

it was a fleeting feeling, but gosh darn it...i will take what i can get.

accepting how others view me positively instead of questioning their sanity is HUGE for me. "oh, i'm charming, funny, cute and pretty? if you say so!" i think everyone has a hard time accepting compliments... but after weight loss it's like those normal insecurities are magnified by your own disbelief. if you don't see your new self, you can't comprehend how others see you.

in the last two weeks i have gone out several times and felt like a normal girl, dolled up and having a good time out on the town. a girl people want to dance with, talk to and have fun with. looking back i think of it as strange (baby steps people), but in the midst of it...i felt comfortable. i felt confident and that is something to shake a stick at. i wish i could take that confidence and bottle it up.

on the exercise front, kettlebell is kicking ass! (including mine, lol) i currently have serious forearm bruises that indicate some very poor form, woops! i researched online and realized i need to "tame my arc" as in most things, form is key. i'm really digging the kettlebell. it's challenging and makes me feel strong. good stuff.

hahaha, i just ordered a swimsuit online...who does that? it's like ordering a bra online (for any men reading this, one should never assume a bra will fit based on the size it claims to be) but the suit is super duper adorable. RED. vintage style. not as esther williams as i hoped, but close enough. ordering online is risky business, but i tried the same style on in the store and just needed the next size down...here's hoping! i'm going out of town next weekend and really want to spend time in the hotel pool. a new swimsuit was necessary as my old one came down with a bad case of saggy bum syndrome.

walk like a cowgirl

2010-07-04T09:12:00.005-05:00

hey party people. it's me. yeah, i'm still here. :)

let's see...what were the bullet points for june 2010...

-i was accepted into grad school! i spoke with my advisor last week and enrolled in class a few days ago...i am terribly excited. yesterday i contacted a local nonprofit to see if my volunteer services could be used (only for a few hours since i will be busy with work/school/work as well). i am going with the flow and seeing what works...if i need to drop something it will most likely be the part-time job, but for now i think it will be a great place to get some reading done. i am one of those that likes to study outside of my living space. i'm feeling pretty fantastic about that area of my life. it will be stressful, challenging, exciting and thoroughly enjoyable...i can't wait :)

-i purchased a kettlebell (actually 2, but one sucks and will be returned) and started using said kettlebell. it's fantastic. it's a russian weight that is used for strength training, but the work outs are fantastic cardio too. you are basically throwing around a weight with a handle. it works your whole body. i was sooo sore the first few days, i should have been wearing stirrups and chaps. my co-worker even asked me why i was groaning, lol. after just a week i feel stronger, but also challenged...i am extremely fond of a challenge.

-i am maintaining. some days i'm okay with that, other days it infuriates me! today i am in between those two, not happy but also not livid. i am working out and eating right...the amounts/timing of eating are still being worked on. most importantly i'm addressing the emotional issues surrounding those struggles. it's effing hard to understand yourself sometimes. losing the weight was quick, i mean not too quick...just standard healthy losses, but the mind is a fickle thing.

-i am enjoying the summer immensely. after losing the weight, my body temperature totally changed. i used to be hot all the time, but now i am comfortable in sunny warm/hot weather and i like it. winter in wisconsin is more of a struggle, but summer is brilliant! :) i work a lot, but i have been spending time with my siblings and my friends in madison. i now have a few friends in the area from choir, but with so little free time...new friends are just so much work! they are good people though and i think i'll be going to a poker fundraiser to see them next week. it will be easier to make plans during the school year when i see them every week. for now i'm feeling good and preparing for the immense amount of work grad school will add to my plate.

happy fourth of july! i'm working, but don't be sad for me...they are paying me double time and all of the parades/celebrations are tomorrow :)

mistaken identity

2010-06-05T15:25:00.002-05:00

this post is going to be one giant juxtaposition...positive and negative thoughts are gonna intermingle, but i guess that's how everyone thinks so it shouldn't be too surprising.

mistaken identity. it happens to everyone. you go to a new place, meet new people and are mistaken for someone else. for me, for the majority of my life it was something i dreaded. i dreaded being called out for anything related to how i look. i'd prefer to go unnoticed and sit in the background like any self-unaware individual...by remaining unnoticed i could avoid recognizing how i looked and ignore any feelings i had about my appearance.

these occasional instances of being confused with someone else were a call out. a forced recognition of how someone else saw me...and it was always a depressing experience. i would be forced to see how other people saw me. forced to look at my "likeness". as an obese person, i would be confused with other obese women, brunettes of similar height. it was like a shot to the gut, but to preserve my fragile self confidence i would immediately think to myself "this person is a loon, i look nothing like her!" but of course i did, i mean it's not like we looked related, but to a new acquaintance hair color, height and weight are key identifiers. i've done it myself, not always with overweight people of course, but for instance confusing one short blonde for another.

two weeks ago i experienced the mistaken identity again...but this time was different. this time, like most other times i had the same reaction "you're crazy, i look nothing like her!". in that sense it was similar, but in this case it was because the other person is drop. dead. gorgeous. seriously pretty...and i'm more of a prettiest girl on the street, depending on the street...fotc reference, lol. in fact, i still don't really see myself as pretty, but that's a whole nother story. anyways, it was strange and made me think back on those other times...and all the changes i've made in my life since then. i stand firm that i look nothing like this gorgeous girl in my sailing class, but it sure was nice to have some crazy old lady think i look slightly like her, enough to confuse us for a minute.

i'm not really sure where i meant to go with this post, but i think self awareness, no matter where you are in your life/journey/struggles/successes, is absolutely necessary. one step, one day, one experience at a time...every single one helps me find a little more of who i am and who i aspire to be.

my first quarter marathon

2010-05-31T17:21:00.007-05:00

it was exciting, exhilarating, nausea inducing, hot, fun, tiring, sweaty, happy, sunny, exhausting, thrilling and an all around great experience!

sunday may 30, 2010 i completed the madison quarter marathon. saturday morning i went to the madison running expo to pick up my racing packet... the expo center was conveniently located right next to the world's largest brat fest (i attend every year, obviously). a friend's band was playing that afternoon, so i got my timing chip/shirt/bib number then took a short walk to enjoy a few brats and some fabulous music. walking into the running expo, i felt like a total outsider. i'm still the non-runner runner. i'm not sure when i'll feel like a runner, but time will tell i guess :)

saturday night i went out with friends to celebrate a birthday, but left early to make sure i got enough zs for the run. i was so nervous in general, i barely got 5 hours of sleep. adjustments will be made next time. i felt fine the whole run, but i know my body would have appreciated more sleep. i, of course, forgot my running shirt in the dryer at home, so i went out and purchased a brand new one from good ol' target saturday night.

i arrived at the race starting line very early, but it was cool to see the full marathoners start. i view them as crazy people...so i guess that means i'm a quarter crazy? lol. they have mega-dedication (considering the weather that day, holy lord they do... details later). it was weird to have so many people in running gear EVERYWHERE. the starting and finish lines were on the capital square, pretty awesome i must say...our capital building is the bees knees.

i had no idea what time it was, but i was in the right spot. unfortunately, i failed to find the porta potty zone pre-race...i was one of the few, the proud, the mid-race porta potty users. as soon as we started, before i even crossed the starting line plane, i knew i would be stopping for a pit stop at some point. i made it to the 2 mile marker and made a bee line for the nearest porta potty (that's 2 bee references so far, yeah you read them). i felt much better after that minus the humid hot hot hot scorchingly sunny day.

i felt pretty good the whole run, but the last .5 mile or so was up an incline and definitely caused a little "oh dear i might puke" moments. the weather definitely had to do with that, the temperature was 80 degrees by the time i crossed the finish line (it got to 90 before the marathoners were done). between miles 4 and 5 there were no water stops, that was pretty rough too and there seemed to be less shade available. the whole run was about 10-15 degrees above what i normally run in, hotness to the max.

my timing chip reports a finish time of 1:12:38 and i am thrilled. i'm thinking the porta potty stop didn't really change my time too much, i'm guessing i would have slowed down for a bit without that pause in the run. that total is just over 11 minute mile pace, and my only goal was to do 12 or less... mission accomplished!

i got my quarter marathon finisher metal, a couple cheese sticks and a water. i was the very essence of a hot, sweaty mess and darn proud of it. :)

i'm sailing away

2010-05-19T13:21:00.000-05:00

i joined a sailing class! we have one more in classroom session and then we are off to the boats. i missed the first class, but it's been fun so far. i am most definitely the youngest person in the class, but old people can be fun :) my current goal is to friend a boat owner!

last saturday i decided to take my first jab at 10k, and i did it! 1 hour 13 minutes, slow pace, but i never stopped and felt quite fantastic after. i'm thinking i will easily beat that time in a week and a half at the madison marathon version. i didn't realize til after i had done it that it was the 15th! 1 year 7 months and counting :)

i then proceeded to drive to madison and have a raucous night with my college girl friends. it was lovely and hilarious. there were bicycle rickshaws and good times all around.

i'm feeling terribly blah today, one of those... daydreaming about napping instead of exercising days. my bed is just too comfy!

sleepy head

2010-04-28T12:28:00.000-05:00

i went later than normal to exercise last night at the y and holy toledo! there was a convention of attractive men... i may need to re-think my work out schedule, lol. i have noticed when i'm running or working out next to someone who is pushing themselves... i tend to as well. really it can be a man or woman, no difference. in fact i usually feel more challenged by the strong women in the gym. they are serious.

i slept through my "wake up now to run alarm", but the extra sleep was needed and quite enjoyable. i will either fit the run in somewhere this evening or go tomorrow mornin' instead. either way it'll get done! i may just take the pups for an extra long walk. they are always down for a walk, and it's also an excellent cure for the ever classic stare-at-the-computer-all-day work induced coma.

taking a breather

2010-04-24T15:57:00.007-05:00

i took an unplanned break from exercise this week. it was definitely needed, but it still caused me some internal distress. i needed to step back and reassess my food/exercise balance. after amping up my exercise routine with weights, i didn't really change my food intake and my body was like "hell no!"... leading to overeating in compensation for the calories burned by the additional exercise. over the last week i have rested and found where i need to be with a very light routine... thus i know where i need to be once i start a more vigorous exercise schedule again. idk about anyone else, but i think it comes down to over-thinking... i still to this day want complete freedom to change my mind... meaning i fret over eating enough food during the day to fuel a work out if i decide suddenly to skip it that day. i need to get over myself in many ways still... that's just one neurotic example, lol. i need to realize one day is just one day and the overall trend is what matters.

that being said... i have 5 weeks to prep myself for the 10k. i plan on taking the week right before the run very easy, so 4 weeks of gradually increased run lengths are in the works. the farthest i've run outside is 4.5 miles and 5 miles on the tready. i've been perusing 10k training plans online, and it seems like 3 runs a week, every other day, with the last being longest and stretching your comfort zone (either distance or pace). i'm not really concerned about pace, but i'd like to finish the first week with a test distance run. 6.5 miles or bust!

oh and i forgot to mention that aaaaaah! my best friend from college got engaged!! to another one of my best friends! it's picture perfect and i will be a bridesmaid. i am thrilled to the gills for them, but like most 20-somethings i suddenly feel quite behind! me being the single bridesmaid kinda freaked me out... well, i suppose i have about a year and half before the actual wedding to catch myself a guy, lol. i suppose i'm lucky that no one has had any babies yet! and you know what? i am super pumped to be a bridesmaid! a year and a half ago, it would have made me nervous and uncomfortable. i am so happy that i feel healthy, happy and comfortable enough in my own skin (a work in progress) to be genuinely excited to share the experience with my two great friends. i will even wear a sleeveless dress if that's what she wants! and that's saying something :)

i missed march!

2010-04-22T09:41:00.000-05:00

i've become this really lame haphazard blogger. march went out like a lion... right?

i killed the gre, but felt completely inept during the actual test. my intellectual self-confidence is very similar to my self-confidence in general... shaky at best! lol. i'm still waiting on a few references to send in their letters, i will be reminding them this week in fact (one is particularly forgetful in that crazy old lady professor way). soon i will know if grad school is in my near, or distant, future :)

the last few weeks i've fallen into a funk. i think that's why i felt the urge to post... blogging really helps me reflect and well, i miss it! i'm still maintaining at slightly above 150. i recently found marksdailyapple.com and love his way of thinking. i perused his book, primal blueprint, at the bookstore and just got a copy from the library, but the blog has almost all the information that's in the book. i lost my weight when i switched to a low carb way of eating, and the primal blueprint plan (both nutrition and fitness) really matches what i'm doing, but infinitely better.

i signed up for a 10k (which is completely against the fitness ideas of the aforementioned primal blueprint, but i am excited to just complete it). most of my "running" these days is a slower pace jog. i realize i'm never going to be an endurance competitor, but i'm fond of a challenge!

in order to not jinx my blogging habits, i am not going to say that i will post more often... in hopes that i do :)

LIFE

2010-02-27T14:18:00.003-06:00

life happens and you can't stop it! idk about all of you, but time has been passing far too quickly lately. i guess it's a part of being an adult and having a full-time job yadda yadda yadda...

nothing earth shattering has happened since i last posted. i was right about the wily mr. scale and i've been holding steady at slightly above 150, lol. i've had a few days in the last few weeks where i consumed waaaay to much food, and was then reminded how terrible that makes me feel both physically and mentally. i still struggle, but i'm amazed at how my life has changed in the last year. for instance, i went out of town last weekend and i am proud to say i exercised both days at the hotel's fitness center. it felt normal and exhilarating to exercise outside of my normal routine.

i am taking the gre next weekend already, aaah... it'll be fine, i got this in the bag yo or at least that's what i tell myself :) i do have 3 recommendations confirmed and working on their letters, so that's good! idk if this program will work out, but i'm excited to get started on whatever's next :)

my mind just imploded

2010-02-13T13:54:00.002-06:00

scales are stupid. scales lie. scales are not friendly, they are cold inanimate objects. they state facts. they don't care how you feel about their facts. for the last few weeks i've been attempting to re-train my thought process. seeing the scale for what it is... a tool. it's not my friend... even if when it says something positive i feel like i just got a bear hug from it. it's not my enemy... even if i wanna throw it out the window when it tells me something i don't want to hear (but always resist because then how would i weigh myself?!! lol). i'm getting better at distancing myself... somewhat.

my new work out plan makes me feel incredible and i think that makes the scale thing less of an issue.

but then mr. scale gets wily. he realizes i'm abandoning my dependency on him... and he does something crazy...

for the last 2 days mr. scale told me that i weigh 149.4... and the day before that 149.6.

and as i previously mentioned, my mind imploded.

but you know what? maybe he'll say 151 tomorrow. i'll still be here, doing my thang. it's hard and i don't think we'll ever really break up... but mr. scale can take a seat on the back burner as far as i'm concerned.

workin' for the weekend

2010-02-05T14:16:00.000-06:00

yay friday! less than an hour to go and i am ready for the weekend. i like the nuns, but ever since i started my p/t job every other weekend these precious few weekends off of work are more and more important to me. and more jam packed with fun! well, lately it's been fun staying in my pjs all day and being a non-working blob, lol. this weekend will be relaxing and fun, but of a different sort. i'm off to madison! i will be staying in the guest bedroom at a friends, so it's practically like being in a hotel and we will be celebrating my birthday (yes, from december, haha) madison style.

i have been very dedicated to my new work out schedule. the scale has remained steady, but i am feeling and seeing differences in myself already. it's been about 2 full weeks of this new weight training and cardio mix. and i think i like it! last night i looked at myself in the mirror and was literally taken aback. i was completely shocked, this is me now? what? i felt proud of myself, and it was nice to feel... i tend to (like lost of us) see the negatives that remain rather than the immense accomplishments i've already achieved. and gosh darn it, i hope this feeling of accomplishment lasts forever!

today will be my rest day due to the driving time, but i'll head over to the ymca in madison tomorrow.

have a great weekend folks!

feel the burn

2010-01-30T16:13:00.002-06:00

last week i started using the weight machines at the y as planned. i think i did okay, i made sure to cover each major muscle group, i found the amount of weight that made my sets doable, but challenging... and i felt the burn. i happily report that my ankle is doing much better. i ran 2 miles with no pain on the alternate days, i think i'm back to pre-tweaking status.

i checked out the new rules of lifting for women from the library, and so far i'm enjoying the read. i will not follow their nutritional plan, but there is a wealth of information about weight training and how muscle is formed. they are adamant about the use of free weights, so i might muster the courage to head on over to the predominantly male section of the gym to try them.

i joined a choir last week! it's the community/student choir at a nearby university. i think it will be enjoyable and the first piece we read was randall thompson's last words of david. i performed that with the uw concert choir, so it was nice to have something familiar to get back in the groove of things.

i am also knee deep to gre studying materials... it's nerve-wracking. i want to study a bit before taking the gre and know my score before beginning the application process, but i also have to ask my references very very soon if I plan on applying this spring for the fall. aaaah! life decisions. i think i'm ready for a challenge.

darn my weak ankles

2010-01-22T09:47:00.001-06:00

well folks, i tweaked my ankle about a week ago while running. i noticed it, but kept running because i was on a roll. it's not bad enough to warrant a doctor, but it definitely refuses to keep up with my running schedule as planned. last night was the first night i really attempted running, at a slower speed than my current normal, and lasted about a half mile before switching over to weights. i'm frustrated, but also don't want to cause further injury and make the healing take longer. boooo you weak ankle!

this hiccup is irritating, but hopefully positive as i am forced to mix up my work out schedule (and that's a good thing!). i've been reading a lot regarding weight training and it's benefits... i tend to randomly use the weight machines and don't really use them as i should (correct weights/reps to actually make progress). today i will be configuring my new weight training program, i hope to commit to a full body weights work out 4 times a week. (or maybe upper/lower body, not sure yet!) while also slowly testing my ankle with some aerobic and cardio. if i can heal and get ready, i'd love to do a 10k in may!

holy toledo, a new year!

2010-01-15T13:39:00.000-06:00

hey folks! epic fail on my part of posting regular updates, but i realized that today is the 15th... and there's no better time to do a mini-update!

i'm chugging along. some really great days, some not so fabulous. i'm getting antsy and have started researching graduate school options. so i guess it's a good antsy. weighed in this morning... 151.0 :D and last week i ran 3.5 miles at 6.0 mph ( that's in 35 minutes yo). my goal is to keep that pace, and increase distance slowly. i actually tweaked my ankle last night, so i'm glad i'll be forced to rest this weekend at my p/t job. otherwise, i'd want to run and possibly injure myself further.

last night i used the slow cooker for the first time, and i'm in love. love that i have food for a couple days, love that i don't have to spend hours in the kitchen preparing the food, just love it!

that's the stats i guess! i hope everyone finds 2010 a wonderful year so far!

snow snow snow snow SNOOOOOW!

2009-12-17T10:50:00.001-06:00

i love white christmas, love. i can't believe it's december already and i've been terribly lacking in blogland. i feel like i have lots to report, but then not much at all... it's been an interesting month since i last posted.

first off, i ran the 5k! it was 38 degrees and raining the whole time. i failed to prepare my outfit, so the thermals and track pants i wore were continuously falling down, lol. it would have been one thing if i had been out running alone, but i knew many people were seeing the hilarity of my wardrobe fail (which made it that more hilarious). oh, you should have seen me running while hiking up my pants! the course was on the bike path along lake michigan, it included 2 slight hills and 1 pretty significant incline. my time was 34:11 and i was thrilled! that was my longest run outside ever, and really only my 4th or 5th time running outside in general. i've been keeping up with running, but haven't pushed distance yet. i'm not sure if i want to or not. a 1/2 marathon would be pretty awesome though... let's see... i'm pretty steady as far as my weight, but after a trip to new york and recently going out more, i think i need to make a few better choices.

and in some breaking news... the wednesday before thanksgiving i met someone, and he's pretty wonderful. we've been hanging out a lot, and i'm not sure what's happening really, but i like it. he's fond of giving compliments, i'm terrible at taking them, lol. he knows how much weight i've lost, telling him was a huge load of my back (lol, no pun intended), but i am still getting used to myself.

i hope everyone who reads this is happy and well!

having a goal

2009-11-10T08:07:00.001-06:00

i think everyone loves the idea of a goal. after losing much of my weight in a relatively short time period, i was spoiled with results. yesterday, i watched a weight loss vlog and was reminded of the journey, but also how hard it actually was. lately i've been brushing it off and i think remembering the struggles helps remind me of the whys. i like to have a goal to keep my momentum. my goals are now mainly fitness related, and although i don't think it's harder than when weight loss was my main focus, it's a struggle of a whole new kind...

i think everyone loves a challenge, and i'm no different! to that end, i'm super excited to say i've found a 5k run/walk that fits my schedule! it's thanksgiving day morning, and all the participants will bring food donations and the money from registering will go to local food banks. i'm very excited, and kinda scurred, but it's a fantastic way to start off thanksgiving day. not only because it's an awesome way to help out the community, but it will also put emphasis on health... on a day, like most holidays, normally considered an all day food fest. i have to figure out what to wear, and i think i'll test out the course pre-thanksgiving to know what i'm getting into :) i'm sure there will be lots of families and a very relaxed atmosphere, so it should be a good time. yay!

i haven't been around much, but i wish you all well and i hope to get back into the swing of blogging soon. i seem to not have much to say... or when i do, i can't blog! lol.

content

2009-11-04T10:12:00.001-06:00

i'm feeling really great this week. and there are many reasons i shouldn't... the epic fail of spinning, the confused puppy waking up at all hours of the night, the fact that next weekend is a work weekend (so i'm on day 3 of working 12 days in a row) and the scale has been a little higher than i want it to... but i'm feeling good today and i'm figuring it must be november :)

spinning class was a fail, but didn't actually happen... the time slot i chose only had me sign up, so they said i could join a different one. but i'm either working or at puppy class during the other times. i'll have to wait til the spring session (where i'm sure more new years resolution people will join or the puppy class will be over) to suffer through it. i think i'll try and sneak in some time in the spinning studio beforehand to get an idea. it sounds like you either love it or hate it, and i might as well find out which side i'm on! i'm still running a few times a week, but i'm worried about winter. i get into that "bundle up in a blanket and watch a movie" mode when it gets cold out. btw i get cold so easily now! i guess my higher weight provided insulation or something because i think my body temperature is very different. interesting. it's also very frustrating to not have clothes that fit, it's awesome, but sad when your favorite things don't fit anymore :( i wore a packer's fleece sunday and it was like i was wearing a blanket. sorry for being that jerk who's like "i'm too small to wear this!" but it blows.

halloween was good times. i was sue from glee, basically a blonde wig and a tracksuit, lol. i decided to not drink at all and i had loads of fun. towards the end of the night, they busted out rock band and the new beatles game... i had never played it before and loooved it. all i did was sing, but it was so much fun! we killed it.

faux weekend

2009-10-24T11:41:00.001-05:00

i'm at my part-time job! so far so good. it's really long hours every other weekend, so this weekend isn't real. although i can bring my computer to work and watch the packer game, so i'm not complaining.

last night i ran 5k in 33:40, best time yet and boy did i feel it! tallulah has somehow gotten into a schedule of having to go outside at 4am, and that's no good... so we're experimenting with feeding her at a different time. also at puppy class they said not feed the puppy dinner before class... and it's at 6pm! and lasts an hour! she is gonna be ravenous.

i signed up for an indoor cycling class at the y, it starts nov 2nd. i've never been on a spinning bike, so this should be hilarious, fun and/or painful. i will report my findings at a later date.

wading

2009-10-20T14:58:00.001-05:00

it seems like lately, i'm just wading. i work, it's not terrible, but it's not challenging. my life feels like it's at a stand still, and i need a jump start. then i remember the mountain of student loans in my name, and push those thoughts to the back on my mind.

why!? why would i just drift? i don't want to, i see it and i act as though i can't help it. i obviously need to take some action, and i'm not sure what that is yet... be it a new creative outlet or pursuing more social activities. i saw a posting for a racquetball class at the y... maybe something like that... both social and active would suit me. i really want to run an official 5k, but the fall dates all conflict with my new weekend job. in addition to me being scared, lol. i need to expand my horizons. i've been on the look out for book club, but it seems only middle aged ladies rock a book club. maybe i'll venture to start one of my own. suggestions are welcome!

size 7

2009-10-13T12:39:00.001-05:00

no, don't get too excited... i definitely don't fit into a size 7 pair of jeans. but for me, this size 7 makes me feel just as elated. :) so if anyone is planning on proposing to me, 7 it is!

i know i've mentioned my previous sausage fingers before and idk what ring sizes mean to most people, but for me... when i was at my biggest, the options for rings were few and far between. i was solidly a size 10, sometimes 11. in addition to not being able to find any, who on earth would want to display something on a finger that they'd rather no one look at? i felt that way about myself in general, and being able to now buy rings/clothes/shoes (i recently discovered i can wear knee high boots, they zip up and everything) is somewhat a vanity thing... but it also proves how much my mind is also changing. i will wear this cute/pretty/sexy thing because i am confident enough in myself to be noticed. idk if that quite makes sense, but i'm chugging away at this process still... learning and growing one day at a time.

in 2 days, i will have been at this for a solid year. holy buckets.

boston quickie

2009-10-09T19:54:00.004-05:00

last weekend was amazing. my college roommate and i flew to boston saturday morning and returned sunday night. the trip was centered around a rockapella concert at berklee. we had vip tickets to see the sound check and meet them before the show (i bought them for her bday). her favorite member is leaving the group at the end of the year, so it was perfect timing.

it was a fantastic trip, but i definitely ate and drank my way through boston (and i liked it). here is my lunch from sunday, and don't be fooled there's like 2 cups of mash potatoes under there... idk what irish bacon is, but it's delicious. and then i assisted my friend with her fish and chips, lol.

on sunday afternoon we went to the last regular season red sox game! any time in fenway is a good time. the weekend was so wonderful, and then this week i was offered a part-time job! it's every other weekend, pays well, is near home and is in a laid back atmosphere... i'm excited! i start this sunday afternoon for training. that's my week in a nutshell!

tomorrow i'm going to a wedding west of milwaukee and then driving down to chicago for the jonathan coulton concert! it's gonna be a good saturday :)

bright deliciousness

2009-09-29T19:46:00.008-05:00

i was particularly fond of my food the past few days, so i thought i'd share the wealth :) first is my 3 egg pepper and sausage omelette. after spending the weekend with omelette making geniuses at the cabin, i've been on an omelette kick. i like that the cooking process involves a level of difficulty (which makes me think of like olympic diving, lol). i think i'm improving at my skillz, ha. then i had some baked tilapia with zucchini, squash and tomato. i'm so accustomed to having red, yellow and green on my plate! i'll have to create some new combos to keep up my color pallete.

and here's tallulah looking innocent...

i'll post again later this week about my super exciting weekend plans... i love a mini vacay!

toora loora toora loo-rye aye

2009-09-21T19:12:00.005-05:00

meet tallulah! one of my friends said the name made her think of the song come on eileen, hahaha.

the weekend was raucous. we had a grand ol' time, and my camera battery died immediately upon arrival... so here is the one and only pic i had on my camera from the weekend... of bubba franks the cat, he's not a fan of the papparazi...
i hope to get some of the many pics my cohorts took. it was a good time, but i think i may have caught a cold from one of my cabin folk :( i'm doing all that i can to prevent a full blown chest cold, but it's looking grim. if you think of me, think clear nasal passages and a full night's sleep... here's hoping!

mother trucker

2009-09-17T11:29:00.001-05:00

truckin' along. workin' for the weekend... because this weekend is another college friends cabin extravaganza!! i'm making us tacos friday evening! yummos. i hope to get some choice pictures to share with ya'll :) we tend to take a lot of pictures when we're together, lol.

i'm feeling good about the week so far, but the weekend is quickly approaching. i will go to the y right after work today. do laundry and weekend trip shopping tonight. the pupster is doing well, no name yet... but i have til tomorrow (self imposed deadline). she is very good at doing her business on newspaper when no one's home, and she seems to be getting used to the schedule i've devised for her. of course, still adorable as ever, and she is teaching my mom's beagle (the one rescued from the puppy mill) how to truly play!

i don't mention my weight much, but i am still a daily weigher. and i missed my monthly update! this past tuesday marked 11 months yo. i am happy/irritated/proud/disappointed/confused/excited that i was able to maintain for the past month. maintaining a normal healthy weight is what this whole jazz is about, so that brings me the joy/excitement. i even had a doctor's appoinment last week! my first physical since high school basically... because i avoided the doctor like the plague, lol. ashamed of my weight, ashamed of my body... you know the old story. i knew i needed to go, and i weighed in at the doctor at 156.8!!! on the doctor's scale, in the middle of the day with all of my clothes on... (i wore lighter clothes and flip flops on purpose, hahaha). she was very nice, and like most things you irrationally fear... it really wasn't too bad after all.

at this point my weight fluctuates up and down between 153 and 158. i am in dire need of toning up, so the exercise bug better stick! i want to be healthier, i want to feel stronger and i want to feel confident... i've made huge gigantic steps in each of those areas, but this is for life and i'm ready for more!

sleep deprived

2009-09-14T11:17:00.002-05:00

i bought a puppy!!

it was planned, yet spontaneous. she's from the humane society and she's a shepherd/border collie mix. right now she's 8 weeks 5 pounds, but that will be changing rapidly! i'm hoping she doesn't get too gigantic, but 50-60 pounds is likely. i wasn't planning on getting a bigger dog (although all my family dogs have been big, and i tend to like them better than smaller dogs). i was thinking smaller for apartment renting purposes in the future...

but i'm positive having a great dog will outweigh the apartment finding woes. she doesn't have an official name yet (strange because i always name animals immediately, wild animals, squirrels, strays... and i'm having trouble with picking the right one for her)

she's a baby baby so sleeping the past few nights has been short and filled with puppy whines. i'm pretty ruff this morning, it's almost like i haven't slept at all or was out on the town hittin' it hard, lol.

my exercise routine was a little off because of the little pup, but i'm working on a new schedule... and maybe i'll have a new jogging buddy!

right now i'm drinking some yummy yogi chai redbush tea with a bit o' cream, i highly suggest it!

darn you pants!

2009-09-10T08:00:00.001-05:00

the 3 day weekend was nice, but i somehow ended up extremely tired/crabby/sassy on monday evening. it made the whole weekend seem lackluster, and i think it related to me having a couple oc moments with food. i really needed to eat those darn baby dill pickles!? like it was my job. and by those, i mean like 20. pickle binge!

i somehow stayed on track exercise wise. sunday: 2 mile jog, monday: 2.33 HIIT outside!, tuesday: epic ymca pants fail followed by shred 1&2 in a row...

the ymca pants fail made me soo mad! i bought these new workout capri pants about 2 weeks ago, they are a large and are somewhat low rise compared to what i'm usually comfortable with. they are cute though, and i feel good in them... or did. they've done well so far, but tuesday night they were determined to fall off... hardcore. i was fine during the fast walking warm up, but as soon as i switched to jogging, they continuously slid down, blaarg! and i know everyone will say it's a good thing... they are loose yadda yadda, but i'm convinced they are merely stretched or something, they are a large! i sense it may also have to do with the increased speed of my jogging, since i'm a movin' a bit more. i'll keep them for a less motion filled workout like pilates and switch over to shorts (aaah shorts! big steps people) for my jogging.

slpga

2009-09-04T17:48:00.003-05:00

i often joke with my family about my future career in the senior ladies pga tour... i don't golf... at all. i mini-golf like any good person, and i may have gone to the driving range once with my dad when i was 12. golfing never really appealed to me, but my theory is that since i have yet to try it... it's possible that i'm awesome at it, hahaha.

a few days ago, one of my bosses started chatting with me about the city golf outing scramble. he also mentioned that one of their foursome may be bailing and that he has a set of ladies clubs he bought for his wife last christmas. today he said if the guy drops out i'm welcome to join them and that it's just for fun... i said i'd consider it. hahahaha, if this actually happens, it will be an anecdote in the making. i can just picture a scenario in which i hit someone with a ball and/or club. i may take a little trip to the driving range tomorrow to see how terrible this could go, and base my decision on that. this might be too hilarious to pass up though and maybe, just maybe... i'll start training for my career in the slpga (they don't use that acronym, but i do, lol). side note: a while back my brother looked it up and you only have to be like 45... wtf, that's not senior people.

3 day weekend! woot woot! i started it off with a trip to the y after work as this week's schedule included a HIIT session today. i decided to push out for a longer run. and i ended up with this...

3.5 miles in 40 minutes 20 seconds, that's my farthest distance and a slightly faster pace!

the schedule seemed to keep me on track this week, but i think most of my motivation came from all of you, seeing all the awesome progress in the blogging world... you guys are inspiring whether you are re-dedicating yourselves, owning your work outs or spreading positivity in general! and those who struggle own it too. today i love that word... seems strange right? to love the word struggle... but it indicates that you are wrestling your demons and working against odds. you aren't lying down or giving up, you are struggling to achieve whatever goals you have your mind set on. you are all in.

cheers to a brilliant 3 day weekend if you have one! i surely hope you all do :)

what's this feeling?

2009-09-02T20:09:00.004-05:00

so for all you musical theatre dorks out there... my post title makes me sing loathing from wicked in my head... LOVE it. i also HEART glee, so if you haven't watched the pilot... watch it and then watch the premiere next wednesday. musical theatre dork tv heaven.

today, dare i say it... i felt cute! not like "oh, i'm not terrible looking", but honest to goodness attractive and i liked it. don't worry, i'm not getting all big headed or anything, but it was one of those firsts or realizations that made me step back. as a larger lady, i often felt that i looked good, but in all honesty i almost always had some sort of "but" to go along with that thought. "this dress looks great on me, but i wish my calves were smaller" "my hair is really shiny today, but my jiggly arms will distract anyone from that" screw those "buts" people!! we don't need them, no one should ever have to analyze themselves that way! i know i'll continue to do it (i'll strive not to of course), but i hope we can all have days like today where for some reason those "buts" were abandoned by the way side.

i realize this is neurotic, but we all seem to find the flaws in ourselves that others don't even notice... or they notice them and don't care! idk what about today made me feel that way. no one said anything out of the ordinary, no ups man gave me the eye (although i do love my ups man for calling me skinny and being proactive at telling me how great i look). it was definitely a fleeting feeling, but my word it was fantastic!

2 runs down, shred/pilates last night.... i'm feeling the burn folks.

cheers to getting rid of the "buts" as well as any extra butt you'd like to be rid of :)

feeling a wee bit puffy

2009-08-30T19:02:00.002-05:00

the wedding was lovely! the bride was beautiful, the groom cried and we had some yummy cook out food for dinner. i was picture perfect as far as food goes yesterday, so why did i go salt crazy today?! idk. it was a choice (or several) and i made them... but now i feel like how a dirigible looks, definitely not lighter than air... blaaaah.

full disclosure: friday's run was a success, but didn't go as planned. instead of a 2.5 mile run, it became a 2.5 mile HIIT session. after 1 mile straight, i needed to slow the pace and decided HIIT would suit me better, for some reason i was lagging. it rounded out to 2.5 miles in 30 min 25 sec (a very similar time to my steady running). i was pleased, but a little irked that i changed it mid-run. i decided to include HIIT next friday, it might be the thing i need at the end of the week.

next week's schedule:
m - 2 mile run and weights
t - shred and pilates
w - 2 mile run and weights
t - shred and pilates
f - HIIT on the treadmill (40 min)

3 day weekend next week!!! i'm pumped... which means this week will be the longest week ever known to man.

busy bee

2009-08-28T11:42:00.002-05:00

OMG YOU MUST GO SAY CONGRATS TO FLG ... C25K MADNESS!!!

just a quick update from me, i don't have anything as exciting to report as FLG :)

a friend of mine is visiting this weekend, yaaay! we will be going to another hs friend's wedding tomorrow (should be interesting, details to follow). i haven't seen the bride since hs, so who knows who else will be there... haha. i love a surprise.

the shred and pilates were a success last night, completed after project clean room/wash linens.

have a lovely weekend peoples!

ps 2.5 mile run this evening fo sho

fresh and so clean clean

2009-08-26T21:06:00.002-05:00

mmm i love a good shower... after an awesome workout!

2 mile run - check.
weights - check.

i did the 2 miles in 23 minutes 22 seconds. faster than my 5k tempo, i think i'll push a bit more friday. i'm kinda excited about it!

i love love loooved every comment on my last post. thanks for giving me motivation for my workout fellow bloggies!

gosh darn it!

2009-08-26T10:40:00.001-05:00

how do i feel like a slacker when i've dutifully done the 30 day shred everday for... let's see... yesterday was the 12th day... why do i feel like a bum?! i know why. i've only had 3 runs in that time period and i know i have to keep it up or i'll lose my progress! i also need to realize that if i do a run, i do not have to, nor should i really, do an extra work out if i don't feel the energy for it.

i'm very "all or nothing" with my work outs. i wanna push to my limits... or lay in my bed. now that i've done the 5k distance, i need to realize that not all runs have to be a 5k, i can run 2 miles and still have accomplished something grand. i get overwhelmed by the thought of running longer and totally flake out on doing it at all... lame. i wanna have the extra cardio and insane endorphines that running provides, so i'm gonna try posting a schedule that will keep me aware.

today: 2 mile run - weights
thursday:30 day shred and pilates
friday: 2.5 mile run - weights

okay 3 days. i can stay focused for 3 days... right?

i'm on it.

give me a goal i can sink my teeth into

2009-08-20T21:45:00.002-05:00

"disappointment equals the difference between expectation and reality"

i think everyone who has ever attempted this crazy thing called weight loss has felt disappointment. as i was reading an excerpt from living the low carb life by jonny bowden... that quote struck a chord with me. too often i have expected results or set goals far too lofty to achieve... and what does that do? it promptly causes a crash and burn scenario. "well, i might as well not exercise today" or "if i'm not losing, why not eat this cake?"

unfortunately for me and for many, goals are what pull us through the crazy mess of weight loss. acheiving them gives us the mental push and excitment to stay on course. the key, i guess, is to make goals... but only those that are reasonable. i've learned to extend my deadlines and to see the positives in the day to day struggles. and yet, i'm still having trouble recognizing how far i've come, i fear that if i accept any sort of success... i'll become completely complacent and revert suddenly to my old self. irrational thinking, i know, but it all comes down to the mental aspect of weight loss. the part that i have to catch up on, and i'm guessing it will take quite a while. i lived almost my entire life as that person, i lived as an overweight girl who stereotypically relied on intelligence and humor to interact with practically everyone. don't get me wrong, i pride myself on both my intelligence and humor... but i look forward to getting to know this self, or maybe just reconcile what i thought i was and who i actually am.

thus ends my rambling for this evening.

in other news... today i jogged 5k in 40:42!! slow, but holy crap! the last 7 minutes were torture... well maybe not torture, but i sure as heck wanted to stop at every moment. (this feat gave me that super elated wonderful, i can do anything feeling) then i did the 30 day shred and thought "why on earth did i do both today?!", then i drank a ton o' water and took a well deserved rest.

droopy

2009-08-18T22:57:00.002-05:00

my eyelids are droopy... that means i must must must go to sleep imediamente!

today's bullet points...

1. drank water with a fervor (that doesn't make much sense, but you catch my drift :D)
2. ate yummy foods, maybe a little too much... related to nerves i think... darn emotions! (see bullet number 3)
3. saw a posting for a local choir audition, practiced and went to said audition, passed scrutiny of the choir director (although i don't think the bar was set very high) pleased anyways.
4. decided to skip shred... then decided to do it... then decided to skip it... then did it (i'm a flip flopper on the exercise front)

cheers to hump day! have a good one folks :)

ps i was right about the bouncing of the scale... but i'm trying to stay focused on my fitness and athletic goals now, so the scale can do what it wants, biotch! (said to the scale)

pps i love parentheses. hahahaha.

bonkers

2009-08-15T10:31:00.005-05:00

number one - confession. i will not be doing a run today. i will continue with the shred (this being day 3). i just don't have time before leaving for my mini-trip and i underesitmated the shred (see number two). lame excuse, but i'll take it as this is weigh in day and i'm pleased with this past months results.

number two - when i said that the 30 day shred wasn't that hard... i hadn't done it 2 days in a row! even that first evening i could feel it in my legs and i realized i'm not even using hand weights yet. i really, really didn't want to do it last night when i got home from the fest, but i did it anyway! yes, jillian i feel the friggin' burn and like any sane individual i loathe the squat. i will be completing day 3 momentarily.

number three - i made bavarian apple cheesecake and feel quite pleased with my baking abilities. i would show you a pic, but it's one of those not as beautiful as it is sooo delicious recipes, lol. also pleased with my ability to a have a sliver and be satisfied. it helps that it is crazy flavorful. :) i'll be taking it with me on my trip, to share the wealth!

number four - weigh in. to preface this weigh in, i really think this number is bonkers! (like crazy, not like bonkers the cat, who is also crazy i might add) i'm more than likely going to see a bounce back up tomorrow, maybe a pound (especially considering i'm heading off to watch a football game... including snacks, haha). i'm extremely happy about it though, and even with the possible bounce i'm looking at a 10 pound loss for last month and a few pounds past by weight goal! thanks to c25k again i believe, and of course sticking to my guns on the food front. well, i might as well show ya...

number five - this whole getting to my "goal" weight business freaks me out. i am very excited and feel accomplished, but i also know that i'm not as physically fit as i want to be. it also makes me fear any slight gain (i guess a little of that is good, but i'm a worrier by nature... i've never written worrier before and i think it looks funny, funny weird, not haha). at this point i will still strive to lose more, not sure how much just yet. i'll let my body do the thinking on that one, i'll just do the leg work... concentrating on toning and fitness. in short, i am far from truly claiming "goal", but i'm well on my way. thank you for all your support, even if i just steal your mojo from reading your blog... i love this blogging community and the insights it provides. i'll delve deeper into my thoughts on this next stage of weight loss via blog when i have a little more time to contemplate it. for now, have a great little saturday folks!

time flies

2009-08-13T21:06:00.003-05:00

i don't think this work week was really that fun, but the time sure did fly. i ran both sunday and tuesday this week. this evening i realized it was too dark to run outside and too late to go to the y (it's only open til 9 during the summer, boooo).

in lieu of the gym, i decided to do an exercise tv work out. jillian michaels sucked me into her 30 day shred. it was a nice short work out, definitely got my heart rate up, but much lighter than my gym work outs. it was interesting to see which muscles i'm obviously not using enough of at the gym. i think i'll do the 30 day shred in addition to runs starting today. has anyone else done them? she also has a 2nd and 3rd level shred, that i may progress to if i don't get bored with her. she's sassy though, and i generally enjoy the sass.

tomorrow i have a part time job interview right after work, and then i'm meeting my sister at irish fest. another weekend, another fest :D at this one they have dogs! all kinds of irish dogs, irish ales and irish sausage. oh and irish dancing, irish music... you get the gist, lol. i'll have to do the shred post-fest and squeeze in a run saturday morning before i head to beaver dam. i'm singing at a friend's church sunday and we have to practice saturday evening... and watch the first packer's pre-season game! i'm really excited to sing a bit, it's been far too long. it's with a small group from my college choir, we'll be singing 5 spirituals, and i can't wait!

have a lovely weekend you! yeah, you! :)

down and dirty

2009-08-11T22:11:00.011-05:00

a short one, as it is late and i have to work in the early am. i will most definitely try and sneak another more informative post in tomorrow at work. tonight i ran outside! much slower than on the treadmill i think, but total 2 miles running. i'll take it! i was pleased and it was beautiful tonight. we are right on lake michigan, so i ran along the lake and the marina. pretty, cool and peaceful. idk if it will become the norm or not, i just couldn't resist the perfect weather. :)

me post run

because sweaty face pics are all the rage
at the state fair last weekend there were pigs that loved one another...
pigs that liked to bite other pigs' feet...

gigantic horses! i swear this horse was 10 feet tall... pictured with my mom for scale... when he standing straight he looked like a loch ness monster coming out of his stall, serious...

and racing pigs! those baby pigs race for cheese doodles... when i was a kid they raced for oreos...

my boss is on vacay

2009-08-06T18:22:00.003-05:00

is it bad that i kind of slacked off today? we just closed the month, so there is a lighter work load anyways. i just want the weekend to start already! i didn't really slack off, i just didn't look for extra work like i normally do. whatevs. the 2nd in command didn't notice/didn't care, so all's well. i'm one of those ultra loyal, crazy work ethic people, so it was quite different for me. when i had to quit my last job, i nearly made myself sick over having to tell them i was leaving. i definitely have issues. wah waaaah. i enjoyed the faux slacking though :)

i've decided summer is just insane, there is a festival every weekend and i just can't get enough of em. milwaukee is the best place for festivals btw. however, this weekend is the mother load... the state fair. this is an annual family extravaganza. we go every year, and as many of you might know... every state fair is centered around the local food delicacies. here in wisconsin... cream puffs, fried everything, fried meats on a stick and well, fried everything on a stick... the fair website now has a "food on a stick" section, no joke. i am prepared. i know what i will have and i will not be overwhelmed by the scents and ambiance of the fair.

of course, there are many things at the fair that are just as important as the food. the racing pigs. the kids from wisconsin (basically a show choir, i'm a sucker for singing/dancing troupes). cows! baby pigs! baby goats! baby animals of all kinds! (i try to not think about the impending doom of most animals at the fair, as the signs hang above them saying how much they cost per pound) and several local bands that i thoroughly enjoy. it will be grand. before that i'm making a quick trip to see a friend in a musical revue, which also fulfills my singing/dancing entertainment quota for the weekend. whew! it hasn't happened yet, and i can already imagine a nap sunday afternoon lol.

ps i ran 2.8 miles straight in 35.30 after work today and i am beaming, so please pardon the semi-rambling post. today was good. slow and steady :)

all i want for christmas is you

2009-08-04T21:03:00.003-05:00

on saturday i bought a few dollar cds at half price books to have in my car. one of them was mariah carey's christmas album... i have heard it many a time and have it on my computer, but i couldn't resist it for a dollar. my roommate and i in the dorms used to listen to it on repeat all year long, good times. since buying it i have been listening to the track all i want for christmas is you over and over again, whenever the radio doesn't please me. (anybody wanna watch love actually? i do.) i currently have pandora set to a station based on all i want for christmas is you and it's making me happy to clean my room. christmas!

my last 2 runs have been consistently 2.5 miles and although i'm really eager to increase the distance (to the point that i'm kinda disappointed when i'm unable to push through it...) i'm happy to report i'm still enjoying it. the enjoying part usually comes after the run, but the post happiness is worth every second of "oh my god, what am i doing? why am i doing this?!"

having a clean bedroom does wonders for clarity of mind... i feel so fresh and calm... the christmas music ain't bad either :)

reefer madness

2009-07-29T22:06:00.002-05:00

at work i update the fuel prices whenever we receive a delivery to our fuel site... and today i noticed for the first time that reefer is listed as a fuel type on the software. i'm sure there is some valid fuel explanation for this, but at the time i could only think mary jane and it made me laugh.

i made mock mash potatoes yesterday. basically mashed cauliflower, but surprisingly good... if you like cauliflower. i added a bit of everything to make it more like loaded mash potatoes... cheese, cream cheese, butter and salt. only a little bit of each to give it flavor and more substance. it was really simple... boil cauliflower til uber tender, use hand mixer or processor to mash them... add fixins. i will claim it as a successful new recipe venture, sometimes plain old broccoli just won't do it. i loathed cauliflower as a child... loathed, so i guess my tastebuds have adjusted or grown up too.

tonight i pushed the time just a tad on my run. total distance: 2.56 miles. i will gradually add to this distance and while i run i'll adjust the speed according to my breathing... i'll be adding time more often than increasing speed at this point i think. thanks for all the suggestions! i'll do what i can, and report back my findings.

now i gotta go fill my tank with reefer.

monday monday

2009-07-27T09:10:00.001-05:00

morning all! another weekend filled to the brim has past. was summer always this busy? this is only my second summer with a full time job, so i guess i am not used to scheduling all the festivals and summer fun around work, lol.

germanfest was this past weekend, and you know i was there! my sister won a tuba playing contest, for serious (she does not actually play tuba... but she did get a first place medal that is engraved haha). we listened to a band from germany named chikera (i liked to call them shakira). they played traditional german stuff, who the hell is alice about 15 times and american wedding reception classics... like shout. it was entertaining and fun.

i then visited a friend who lives in the boonies... a mostly farmland area of wisconsin (like many areas of wisconsin). more fun was had and on the detour home i got some nice cow pictures. you can expect a detour picture log this evening. :)

i'm done with the 9 weeks of c25k, but not with a 5k yet. i'm trying to decide whether to increase time and speed, or to just increase time until i can complete the distance. i really enjoy doing HIIT on the treadmill, so maybe that will help with my endurance as well. considering that's how the first few weeks of c25k are designed, it may just work... hmmmm. and of course, my higher intensity portions are at a much faster speed than i can maintain for longer intervals. but i get equally sweaty ;)

and they'll never be lonely anymore

2009-07-21T20:17:00.006-05:00

the wedding last weekend was a success. the bride (my step-sister) was happy/beautiful/giddily drunk by the end of the reception.

we went early saturday morning to buy centerpiece flowers from the farmer's market, and then arranged them... so the day was loooong. it was a lovely time though, and i enjoyed being a proud member of the dancing fools at the reception... i mean that's what wedding receptions are for right? dancing around like an idiot while others who wish they were also dancing like idiots watch. :) so. much. fun.

completed week 9 day 2 c25k today. it was hard. i need to prepare more properly food/water wise. i drink water all day long, but i've been going right after work to the y... i think i need to have a snack later in the afternoon to boost my energy for the work out. what do you guys eat and/or drink pre/during/post work outs? do you snack at all before? there's only one official day left, but i'm not to 5k distance yet... i won't claim to be a graduate til i do! i'll keep you posted on my progress.

here i be

2009-07-15T20:16:00.010-05:00

a few before and current pics... hopefully soon i'll have some cute ones! hahaha.

I try to delete/destroy terrible terrible pictures on myself, but we were testing the features on my camera... so these before portraits survived. It's a complete guess (i never weighed myself before), but I think both of the before pics were at my highest weight... or more. The current portrait is from this evening, pardon the dirty hair and face :) The current full length pic is from july fourth weekend... so you may guess why i'm making a crazy face and acting silly. Please note the awesome pbr sign behind me and the fact that a game of bar shuffle board is in the works, soooo classy. i loaned my belt to the birthday girl... and those darn jeans had a mind of their own!

surreal

2009-07-15T10:43:00.005-05:00

weigh in: 167.6... bachelorette party included HOLY CRAP!

i have lost 100 pounds. i've discovered that if i tell people numbers, the surprised reaction they respond with makes me feel more like they are thinking "oh my god you were that huge!" rather than "wow, what an accomplishment!" i think i'll just share with you for now. 6 more pounds and i'll be at the very tip top of the "normal" weight bmi range for my height, but i'm not where i want to be yet (body or fitness). my weight loss will be slowing and eventually ending, so i'm planning for the next step. increasing my fitness level and keeping exercise a priority are my main objectives right now.

my last week of c25k approaches. i plan on running in addition to some kind of organized weight program after i complete c25k. i have to do some research to figure out what'll be best. suggestions are welcome!

she's a maniac

2009-07-12T20:53:00.003-05:00

:)

i'm happy because last night i went out for my step-sister's bachelorette party and i danced like a maniac. it was fantastic! i have never felt so comfortable in my own skin and it was great. last night made me realize that this healthier version of myself is more than just health or looks... it's that feeling. it's the feeling that drives me right now... not the scale, not the clothes size, not the way i see myself in the mirror, but the mindset that resulted from all the changes i have made. i felt no shame, no embarassment... where as in my old mindset i would have felt uncomfortable... almost like i wasn't the right kind of person to be there, let alone to be dancing and mingling. i am definitely not this self-loving and positive all the time*, but last night made me realize my self perception is changing in a good way.

i did have to delay a day of the couch 2 5k because of the party, but balance makes life better right? i'm thrilled to death for my sister and her fiance, and i can't wait to see her walk down the aisle.

*i reserve full rights to be debbie downer when i feel like it, but for now... :)

whipper snappers

2009-07-09T08:21:00.001-05:00

i just wrote out a long winded post, and then the igoogle blogger gadget deleted it! bummer major. i'm sure it was longer than necessary though. here's a summary of the lost post:

- drank a lot july 4th weekend, 3 days in a row
- we realized we're not as young as we used to be... or maybe it's that we just don't drink every weekend
- i ate on plan most of the time
- the scale was kind monday, was up a bit but not as much as expected
- i am in week 8 of c25k
- my step-sister's bachelorette party is this saturday, the wedding is next saturday
- i don't have a dress for said wedding
- i swear i'm on plan most of the time, these posts make me look like a lush!
- i need to post more often and catch up with all of you too... i miss ya!

i love a paid holiday

2009-07-02T08:53:00.001-05:00

today is my friday, i hope it's yours too! one of my best friend's birthdays is on the fourth, so celebration madness is about to occur. i'm driving directly after work to meet up with my college folk for concert on the square (the symphony orchestra in madison plays outside in the summer), followed by a show at the comedy club. more celebrating throughout the weekend.

last night i really wanted to go to summerfest, but my friend ditched because of the weather... but i went anyway! i actually really enjoyed going by myself. i'm a fan of people watching, so i got my fair share. there wasn't really any band i was going to see, i just love summerfest in general. i ended up watching "the band of heathens" full set, and i highly recommend them. they are from austin, and they are brilliant live. i would call them blues/country. i always reserve judgment on musical acts til i see them live, you must be good live to be a musician. i looked them up and they will be on austin city limits sometime in the near future, check em out yo.

i'm happy to say i successfully lost half a pound for jack's challenge! congrats to anyone else who participated and kicked that half pound's ass!

i was packing this morning, running late and forgot food for lunch!! :( i leave at 3, but i'm already thinking about food. doh! oh and i'm on track c25k wise. tomorrow will be the last day of week 7? idk what week, the one of 25 minute runs.

happy fourth everybody! i think in addition to celebrating my friend's birth, i would like to start a tradition of watching the episode of it's always sunny in philadelphia titled "charlie goes america all over everybody's ass". i love a tradition, lol.

jon bon jovi's bootay

2009-06-26T17:32:00.001-05:00

he likes to shake it... end of story.

summary of the bon jovi concert experience: the audience was as hilarious as i hoped... bikini clad ladies, middle-aged women who have obviously been fans since the 80s and have refused to change their hair and clothing style... and drunk men singing without abandon who love jon bon with all their hearts and souls. sambora was awesome. their drummer was sweet too... and about 4 feet tall, i swear.

week 6 of c25k complete. 2/3 done! that's scary and awesome. today i ran for 25 minutes straight. over 2 miles running (jogging), ain't too shabby. this was really rough, not gonna lie. i don't think my body was happy about it today, i was already willing myself to continue after the 5 minute mark. i was thrilled to have the energy to do some weights after my run though, it feels like a more complete work out if i can manage that.

busy weekend ahead, sister's wedding shower tomorrow... i think i may need to re-assess my menus. i've been steady on the exercise, and the food might be slacking a bit. i might be over thinking things... i do that a lot.

happy wednesday!

2009-06-24T06:13:00.002-05:00

in an attempt to up my spirits after seeing a not so nice number on the scale... and to also help everyone cool off in these craazy hot temps... enjoy!

JSKAHAHAPC Holla

2009-06-23T20:12:00.011-05:00

All the cool kids are doing it. I am more than excited to join JSKAHAHAPC (Jack Sh*t’s Kick-Ass Half-Ass Half-A-Pound Challenge). The funny man himself has challenged those who enter to lose half a pound in a week... all bets are off bitches.

In other news, I rocked out Week 6 Day 1 of C25k last night, came home and felt the sudden urge to watch White Christmas... maybe it was the sweltering heat, so I did and loved it as always. I love an old movie musical. Snow, snow, snow, snow, snooooow!! Send a crooner my way.

Today's so far so good... had some delicious brats for lunch and now I'm in the planning stages of cleaning my room... in that I just thought of it. The next few weeks are gonna be crazy busy... starting with the BON JOVI concert on Thursday, the first day of Summerfest! I'm not a huge fan, but I know it's gonna be a fun/hilarious time.

I never use caps... and in this post I did... I'm feeling weird about it. I've decided to put full blame on Jack for this oddity as the caps resulted from my copy and paste of the challenge name. Darn you! :)

smiling

2009-06-19T19:32:00.003-05:00

today i'm smiling, so everything will be okay.

this week was exhausting. i'm drained, so i'm hoping a long long sleep this evening will do the trick. thank you so much to everyone who commented this past week, it's nice to know you are all there even just in cyberland. hugs to you all.

today i'm smiling because after work i went to the y and completed week 5 of the couch to 5k. i didn't think i'd be able to do it. 20 minutes straight running... more like jogging at my speed ;) i listened to my own music since i didn't have any speed changes, i think that helped a lot. once i hit a mile, i was smiling for the rest of the run. it blows my mind that in high school, that was my most dreaded day... the mile in gym class. and now i'm doing it for fun! (well it is slowly growing on me, i think the milestones are what keep me interested) it was hard, but i did it... that's the story almost every week. each week surprises me.

and of course this past monday was my 8 month mark. so i've got a weigh-in to post.

june 15, 2009: 174.8

it was a good month, i think i have my new exercise routine to thank for that. i'll be recovering from this week for a little while, so i'm hoping to be solidly in the 160s by next month weigh in. omg. 160s... that's crazytalk. holy crap. and now that i wrote it down, it sounds absolutely insane. like i'm jinxing it or something. time will tell, lol.

thank you so much for reading and commenting! i really wouldn't be able to do this without all your support. you guys are the best, muah!

pause

2009-06-15T11:56:00.001-05:00

sometimes i wish life had a pause button. for those really wonderful moments that you wish could last forever. or maybe just a replay button. thanks for all the comments, i'm okay or at least i know i will be. it was nice to spend yesterday with my siblings and my grandma.

i'll be heading to the y tonight, it'll be a nice release i think. i don't think i've slept enough as of late, so i'll try and get some extra zs tonight. my eye lids are heavy.

thanks for reading. i generally try to avoid being sappy, but go hug someone you love. hugs are where it's at.

...

2009-06-15T07:32:00.001-05:00

my grandpa died on saturday. thanks for any prayers or good thoughts. he lived a wonderful life, i hope he can fly planes wherever he is now.

my boss, my workout buddy

2009-06-12T12:03:00.001-05:00

i've mentioned this issue before, but yesterday right when i was about to start my first running segment i noticed my boss getting on the treadmill 3 over from me... and of course there was no one on the treadmills between us. i'm not sure why, but it was nerve-wracking. it probably has to do with the fact that he's a runner (he's doing the 10 mile run our town has next weekend and last year he ran it in an hour and 23 minutes... there is a 4 mile one every year as well... next year?!?). i felt pressured to go just a little bit faster on my running segments with him there... which was fine until i failed to complete my last 5 minute run. i did 5, but i had to slow it down for about a minute mid-way. durn!! the 5 minute runs are still hard as heck, but i do them, so onward!

i am again travelin' this weekend, but i'm gonna try and refrain from the alcohol (well let's say limit). my step-grandpa is not doing well, so it will be a short trip to return for family dinner on sunday. cancer sucks. i hope he is still up for some games of cribbage. if you get a chance think good thoughts for him.

btw, i heart you guys. your comments mean the world... your motivating words help me stay focused. i hope you are all well and have a lovely weekend!!

woah nelly

2009-06-09T16:36:00.002-05:00

as you may have guessed i decided to take the one day delay, so i trucked over to the y after work for my week 4 day 2.

woah nelly! that was crazy hard! idk what is was about week 4 day 2 of the couch to 5k, but man i was struggling at the end. it's a brilliant feeling to be done and realize that you ran a total of 16 minutes! not straight, but i'm still amazed. it's 30 minutes post work out and i'm feeling quite chipper... it must be working! imagine a huge smile on my face!

my moving bruises seem to be healing some, and i no longer groan when sitting down or standing up lol. i think i'll take it easy tonight and hopefully i'll be back in pre-moving form tomorrow :)

oh i also forgot to mention the hilarious middle aged man who danced with myself and my two friends at the bar friday night... he told me that i don't miss a beat and that i have moves... hahahahha. i wish you all could have been there!

my body hates me right now

2009-06-08T08:00:00.001-05:00

moving complete. i out did myself in many ways this weekend... and i have the crazy bruises and sore muscles to prove it. i was happy to help my friend, but my body was dead by the end of the weekend. as i type this, my forearms ache. luckily my couch to 5k run was saturday morning before the moving occurred, but depending on how i feel after work today there may be a 1 day delay in the schedule... i really really don't want to do that, so i'm hoping a lot of water and stretching throughout the day will help.

on saturday's run, i got a side ache... most likely related to the alcohol consumption friday night and not enough water beforehand... but the hundreds of stairs and heavy lifting both saturday and sunday were definitely bonus work outs :)

another weekend approaches!

2009-06-05T10:10:00.001-05:00

yay friday! something must be in the air this spring because the 2nd of my 4 closest friends has broken up with her boyfriend... only about 2 months after the other one. i will be travelin' again this weekend to hang out with her/help her move out of the apartment they shared... yikes. the ex is leaving town for the weekend, but she basically wants to pack up today and tomorrow... and move out on sunday. did i mention she fractured her wrist last week? i'll be getting some extra exercise, lol.

i start week 4 of c25k tomorrow morning. aah! it'll be awesome.

say it ain't so is playing on my mp3 player, so i'm a happy girl.

have a wonderful weekend!

bicycle race is playin' on the radio

2009-06-02T12:34:00.001-05:00

nothing like a queen song to lighten a blah day.

it's tuesday. it's been one week since my laptop got stolen. yeah, some bastard done stole my laptop out of our house... soo creepy. losing my pictures (only the last few months but all my progress pics) was worse than losing the laptop, it was 3 years old and ready to be replaced. i'm not sure how much longer i'll last without my own computer... but maybe that will be refreshing.

on the up side of life, i'm still on schedule with couch to 5k. yesterday was week 3 day 2 and that 2nd 3 minute run was challenging yo. aaand my mp3 player died in the middle, so i had to clock the last 2 run/walk combinations... worst thing ever.

p.s. i wish the thief would have stolen my scale.

i am a fan of tuesday mondays

2009-05-26T15:27:00.002-05:00

i like it when the week starts on tuesday. maybe we can work on that happening every week...

the weekend was super fun and tiring! a few things i learned over the long weekend:

1. the ymca rocks for having the away program, allowing me to use their madison location and keep on track with the couch to 5k. yesterday was week 2 day 2!
2. i am too used to getting up at 5am... so staying up til 4am was not a good idea.
3. i have terrible short term memory sometimes... i borrowed my friends house key when i went to the y monday morning... and i still have it! i'm going to the post office after work to mail it back to her. luckily she has an extra.

we again ended up with free tickets to the brewers game tonight, so i'll be taking in some more baseball. i hate to go and leave early, but i also hate to leave tickets un-used... hmmm.

oh and i weighed in this morning 180.2 and i'm good with that. i'm trying to not be bothered by the scale (and of course failing most of the time, haha), but to concentrate on the couch to 5k routine. i will be starting weights again to go along with the running.

happy tuesday monday!

do the humpty hump

2009-05-20T11:02:00.001-05:00

happy wednesday!

i managed to get to the y this mornin' for week 1 day 3 of the couch to 5k. the thought of staying in my bed did cross my mind :)

i can't wait for the weekend! i'm going to madtown (madison) to visit with college friends and celebrate a birthday. yay!

the y has an away program, so i can go to one of their local ys while i'm visiting... and/or run by lake mendota! sah-weet.

morning work outs

2009-05-19T07:53:00.001-05:00

i completed week 1 day 2 of couch to 5k yesterday morning before work... meaning i got up to go to the gym at 5:20am. i start work at 7, so i wanted ample time to exercise, shower and get ready.

i'm hoping i can keep it up for the 2 weekday couch to 5k days i'll have each week (there are 3 programs each week and i'll be doing them on saturday, monday and wednesday), but as they increase intensity i may have to adjust to after work again. i felt great all day and i think working out in the morning makes for a more positive day.

in other news... i bought a swimsuit! just one to swim laps at the y, but it was the least traumatic swimsuit shopping experience i've ever had. i chose the cute black and white polka dot one over the blue sporty one... it's a one piece with a wrap look in the front. i really don't think i'll ever have the hutzpa to wear a two piece... ever, but they are so cute. maybe my mind will slowly catch up with my body (i'm definitely not ready yet body wise either haha).

have a lovely tuesday!

it's time i got back to the good life

2009-05-17T19:37:00.006-05:00

hey all! let's see... what to say...

I RAN ON THE TREADMILL!! haha, well not ran, jogged really and only when the man told me too... i am officially doing Couch 2 5k. i was going to wait til i finished the second day tomorrow, but i think that just gives me the opportunity to ditch the idea last minute... f%$# that! i am doing this and i'm gonna rock it. nuff said.

i am thrilled that i overcame my irrational fear of the treadmill... more specifically... flying off the treadmill, hitting my head and waking up to realize i passed out after a failed treadmill experience. i realize the treadmill is the poor man's version of outdoor running, but i want to get comfortable with this before i branch out.

more details on the next 8 weeks as they become available...

7 months and counting

2009-05-15T10:18:00.002-05:00

well here it is folks, month number seven has passed me by.

weigh in: 183.4

i wish i could be reporting a larger loss, but i think this lower loss reflects my sort of blah attitude this month.

i need to re-dedicate... i have been enjoying time with friends and family, but i need to balance that with my new healthy habits... or blend them i guess.

my step-sister is getting married july 18th, so i'm going to challenge myself to look at the next 8 weeks as a blank slate. i'm not sure what the plan will be yet, but as soon as i have an exercise and eating plan i will post it here. so far i've been really just winging it, and i think a little organization might help me stay on track.

and thanks to chai from relatively low carb! she is challenging anyone who reads their blog to write something positive about themselves everyday. if you haven't checked out her blog, do! she's a positive, inspiring lady.

holy cow

2009-05-11T12:30:00.001-05:00

i swear yesterday was april 15th.

i had a fun-filled weekend... friday night the brewers beat the cubs in a great game. danny gokey sang the national anthem and of course my voice was hoarse by the end of the game, i'm a yeller. saturday i went to the milwaukee public museum for the titanic exhibit and enjoyed all my childhood favorites like the bison running of the cliff diarama and the lifesize igloo. i love history, so museums make me happy. the titanic exhibit had a huge chunk of ice to indicate how cold the water/iceberg was, it was a great exhibit. and then we saw wolverine! i kept calling it blade trinity 2.0 because both feature ryan reynolds abs... and i ain't complaining. even as deadpool he is hot, it's like sean patrick flannery as powder... weird, but hot. i digress.

mother's day was relaxing. dinner at the grandparents and a little golf/baseball with grandpa. then my mom and i went to see 17 again. i was entertained, but lt. dangle from reno 911 (i'm sorry i never remember your real name) was my favorite... hi-larious.

i had grandma left overs for lunch, so i'm full and happy. i'm off to the y after work and a little cleaning might be in order this evening... my closet may have exploded all over my room this morning... can i just say that sometimes i hate clothes!

i wish it were friday

2009-05-07T08:21:00.001-05:00

man the weekend can not get here fast enough! i think staying home sick messed with my sense of time. i'm feeling much better, thanks for the well wishes! although i'm kinda post illness lazy, lol. i'm kickin myself in the tush today and heading to the y after work.

did i say i got a new phone? cuz i did! it's red and has slidey key pads like a swiss army knife... it also plays music! i don't really know how to use it properly yet, but i love it. i dropped it already... of course, but it survived.

i made some delicioso cole slaw last night and grilled some chicken with a new no salt seasoning i found, so lunch should be a good time, lol. it's a good thing i have no boyfriend because i am on a serious garlic kick, haha. looove it. the no salt seasoning has many things... including garlic :) i decided that my two favorite seasonings in the whole world are celery seed and nutmeg... because one is the essence of cole slaw and the other the essence of eggnog. the end.

ps. i couldn't find my new/favorite sports bra this morning, and i'm super bummed... i guess my work out will just be a little more jiggly with the older one i was forced to take haha

craptastic

2009-05-04T11:33:00.002-05:00

that's how i feel :(

my stomach is angry at me for some reason (i'm guessing not swine flu lol)... so much that i'm very much considering going home sick from work (a big deal since i am always afraid to call in sick or go home sick, never wanting to let anyone down etc... yeah i have issues).

i had a wild weekend, but was feeling fine until last night when i could not fall asleep for the life of me and then i had serious night terrors. like crazy murder dreams. icky.

haha happy monday! hope everyone else is having a much better day :)

i'm doing good food wise and i'm going to refrain from exercise until my stomach revolt has passed...

i had to buy new excercise pants... because a tube of chapstick melted all over a load of clothes in the dryer... including my last pair of wearable/fitting exercise pants! grrrrr. and of course there was this huge wet looking spot on the middle of the ass. not that i imagine anyone's looking at my ass, but it would seriously bother me knowing it's there. so new pants!

skinny fingers

2009-04-22T11:19:00.001-05:00

i've always had chubby fingers to go along with my chubby body. i accepted the fact and it didn't bother me that much. i don't wear much jewelry and never rings, so i could avoid thinking about my sausage fingers. getting my class ring in high school (which is now lost, most likely forever) made me think about it... especially when comparing my stubs to my skinny skinny friends, but besides that i just ignored them.

last week i was talking to my sister about my hands. i noticed a little while ago that when i type i can see my metacarpals going crazy. it may not seem like a big deal, but it's one of thsoe little things that reminds me how far i've come. my fingers are nowhere near skinny today, but i think sausage fingers is a phrase of my past... that motivates me to get my bootay to the y after work today :)

mini friend rant starting now...

question:
can someone have a rebound with a lizard? i suspect that my friend is attempting to.

she recently broke up with her boyfriend and suddenly wants to buy a bearded dragon and she even commented about how she considered an iguana... wtf. she has never owned a lizard and is one of those people who get bored easily. i think she just wants a hobby and/or thing to care for, but really? a bearded dragon? i think she has talked herself out of it, but i'm trying to provide her with other ideas to distract her from her "boyfriendless misery". for her, but also for me... one can only stand so many conversations about the capacity of another one's dvr. she needs some hobbies stat.

thanks for listening blogville.

it's past my bedtime

2009-04-21T23:09:00.002-05:00

my mind is wide awake, damn you brain!

this week is a good week... i've decided.

i will work out, eat right and laugh often.

i better try and sleep... not much else to say... hopefully some noteworthy shenanigans will occur.

420 and all is well

2009-04-20T11:29:00.001-05:00

the meeting went well, it ended up being a "later in the evening meet at a bar for a drink" type of thing. i was nervous because i know he is a great, intelligent person, because she is. i didn't want to look stupid and/or boring. this makes me sound kind of sad, but i'm usually not like that at all. i'm very outspoken and confident. i think very highly of her and knew i wanted to like him. it was nice and we only bored him slightly with high school stories. i gave her the audio book version of john hodgman's "the area of my expertise" for her bday. they drove from new york, so they'll have the car trip home to listen to it.

i was laaaaazy this weekend. i was taking care of my mom's beagle who fears me. it bums me out (i usually have a very good rep with all animals). it was good though, i think she was much better by the end of the weekend. she was letting me pet her without stress yawning. she started following me around and was nudging me to pet her more. she is from a puppy mill, so she has fear of people in general. but besides the dog duties, and one night out... i was in my pjs loafing around all weekend. good rest, but i still felt quite unproductive.

saturday night (the one pj-less time period) i went to see the show altar boyz. soo funny. it is a musical about a religious boy band. it was one of those shows that you leave with your face hurting because you laughed/smiled so much. good stuff. boy band lovers would find it extra hilarious.

this feels like a blind date

2009-04-16T06:12:00.004-05:00

or how i imagine one would be like... since i've never actually been on a blind date...

tonight i'm meeting up with my best friend from high school. she went to college in another state, where she met her boyfriend of now, i think, over 3 years. i visited her at school before she met him, and i've seen her every time since then that she's visited wi... but this is the first time i'm meeting him.

is it weird that i'm nervous to meet him? it'll be fine i know, but it still is surprisingly nerve wracking. maybe it's that cliche dream of eventually being married and living next door to your married best friend. i mean, if we don't get along we can't sit on the porch and play canasta (sp?) in our old age, lol.

what? no. really? yes.

2009-04-15T21:15:00.005-05:00

calendars don't lie, or do they?

it has been 6 months since i said "i can do this", and i'm still doing it. i can't believe how far i've come and the motivation i still have to keep going. i'm amazed at my progress, but i'm also completely aware of the areas (cough exercise cough) that i can improve on. don't get me wrong, i exercise... but i want to have a more regimented plan. it's a work in progress :)

weigh in: 190.0

what? yes. read it and weep... i mean don't cry, unless it's tears of joy for me then go forth and cry all you want. ;)

i heart all of you who read this. muah.

easter exploded everywhere

2009-04-13T13:20:00.001-05:00

i survived easter unscathed by the peanut butter eggs that i used to looooove... i think i'll have to avoid the store until i know they are all gone though... because the only thing more luring than a peanut butter egg, is a peanut butter egg on clearance.

i did indulge in a couple not so wonderful food choices, but they were all conscious decisions... rather than impulsive, sugar induced madness. i claim the holiday another success on the food front. i did forget the y would be closed though, so an extra work out will be thrown in during this week.

i'm inching towards the 180s... even typing that feels wrong. it will probably take a while, so i have time to get used to the idea.

recovery week... or post-weekend reality

2009-04-08T09:54:00.001-05:00

last weekend was fantastic. i drank, i ate, i played pool, i watched movies, i played bananagrams and drinking jenga. i ate mostly on plan, but not entirely... so this week is a "i hope to maintain my last week's loss" week. and i'm fine with that... i think.

i'm terribly impatient, and man oh man is the weight loss slowing compared to the beginning.

i realized recently that i'm failing miserably water wise, i just stopped making sure i get my daily dose. i'm on my second 32 oz bottle this morning, so far so good... besides the whole peeing frequently nature of drinking loads of water.

i hope you are all well this mornin' or whenever you read this :)

woah nelly!

2009-03-30T12:38:00.001-05:00

i've been absent. sorry. i'm not sure why, but i keep thinking of the blog... but not actually writing on it or reading other blogs for that matter. i had a ruff 2 weeks in which i just kept at the same weight and it started to irk me. i finally saw a little progress, so hope is not lost! i guess that probably attributed to the blogless few weeks, but really i'm just kinda blah lately.

not much else besides my plans for next weekend... it's cabin weekend! which means a bunch of friends meet at a cabin to celebrate one friend's bday... much food, alcohol and fun is had. i'm really not worried about it, it's at a house so i can bring whatever i want in addition to the meals we are making as pairs and it's gonna be a much needed break from monotony.

i'm so sorry that i haven't been around at least commenting on your blogs... i hate that i can read at work, but can't comment! boooo. i send my love to you all!!

greeeeen

2009-03-17T12:46:00.001-05:00

it's st. patrick's day! for the past four years, i've spent this day in a drunken stuper dressed head to toe in green.

now that i'm not living in madison and working full-time, that's probably a thing of the past... until it falls on a vacation day or weekend... then i might just be obligated.

this year though, i'm gonna go to the y after work, eat a sensible dinner, catch up on some blog readings, watch some 30 rock and catch some zs. a relaxing evening, but i can't help but hear the little voice in my head quote avenue q... "i wish i could go back to college". :)

on the weight loss front... not much, still chuggin' away but not seeing as much progress as i'd like. i know it will slow down, but i don't want it to yet! lol. when the losses are slow, it makes it that much more difficult to stay on track... "if i'm not losing i might as well not exercise today" or "if i'm not losing i might as well have this s/f chocolate". it's hard...

it makes me think of how proud my grandma says she is of me for losing weight... and how everytime i just brush it off (partly because i don't like being pointed out and because sometimes i like to pretend i never was that big), but really it's an accomplishment. i hope looking at it that way will keep me on the straight and narrow plan wise.

to a healthy week!

5 months never felt so good

2009-03-13T09:26:00.001-05:00

well, it's not 5 months til sunday... but close enough!

today i weigh 198.6. i have so much to say, and no words to say it right now. a longer post will happen soon, but for now... i weigh 198.6, that's truly crazy talk.

a smidge of happiness

2009-03-07T06:47:00.002-06:00

weigh in: 202.8!! you better stick biotch!

happy saturday everyone!

you know what's especially not fun... buying new, smaller bras. i'm gonna have to do that today, i'm thinking i'll just be going down in the band size... i hope. i wanna be like "weight loss gods no, i want those!" i already had to purchase new bras once in this process and the cups happily remained the same. when i started using the smallest hooks on my bras i felt soo weird. i've always had to use the last hook on any bra i've ever owned.

well, if it gets me a smaller, healthier body overall, i can handle
missing a little boob. :)

awake, i think

2009-03-06T07:46:00.001-06:00

last night was fun, the concert was so so. i cannot stand it when an artist feels the need to mouth repeatedly to the sound guy or make jerky faces at him, that's what a sound check is for people! especially when it's not a noticeable error for the audiences enjoyment, just get over yourself and play the song. this is one of very few concerts this has happened at, but man was it off putting. i'm fine with a little interaction, like turn up my guitar or turn down the vocals, but the interaction was nothing less than redonk last night. it's hard to get that "dang you are a prick" thought out of your head, hahaha. the music was enjoyable, so i'll try and forget the unpleasantries.

i had a great time seeing friends and catching up before and after the concert. i was very conservative alcohol wise, but the drink i had tasted crazy strong. my tolerance level is drastically lower than last summer. that's a good thing :) i'm a cheaper date, lol.

i'm trying not to think about it, but i only got 3 hours and 40 minutes of sleep last night. maybe i won't pass out on my keyboard later this morning if i pretend i actually slept. i know from past experience i go along smoothly for a little while and then hit a brick wall something fierce.

it's supposed to be in the 60s again today! i might venture on a walk/jog by the lake after work (again if i'm not asleep, lol). i'll have to take advantage of the warm weather somehow, the forecast is for 30s again tomorrow.

i'll weigh in tomorrow.

shakin' booty

2009-03-04T09:00:00.001-06:00

second day in a row was a little ruff, but i survived and successfully completed my planned workout. i remembered to make lunch for today! yay chicken and green beans!

i also realized that i'm going to madison thursday night right after work, soooo i can't workout that day (unless i go insane and get up at 5am to go before work). i will most likely partake in some alcoholic beverages that evening... so i will make tonight's workout extra rigorous :)

these go to eleven

2009-03-03T12:40:00.001-06:00

AAAAAHH!!! i just found out that SPINAL TAP (christpher guest, harry shearer and micheal mckean) is coming to milwaukee in May!! thank you reunion tour gods!

it's acoustic, so it won't be the concert of my spinal tap dreams, but AAAH! whenever anyone asks what my favorite movie is i say it's a tie between spinal tap and amadeus.

in my dreams christopher guest will at some point do his corky st. clair voice at the concert. now to get tickets... i guess the presale starts tomorrow. AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

one down

2009-03-03T07:25:00.001-06:00

i successfully made it to the y after work yesterday, 30 minutes elliptical, 20 upper body weights. it was a ruff monday and getting there was a little victory.

my lunch today is hilarious... i had no time this morning and forgot to prepare something last night... so i have the 4 brussel sprouts that were left plus a cup of frozen grean beans in a container and then i have about a cup of fage yogurt w/ a little sweetner and pumpkin pie spice mixed in. doh! i'll make sure to cook some chicken for the rest of this week's lunches tonight.

shout by tears for fears is playing on my mp3 player right now. haha.

self challenge

2009-03-01T21:47:00.002-06:00

this week i am challenging myself to go the y everyday. i will do cardio and weights each day, alternating upper and lower body on the weights. i will report here each day.

this week is mine to make great.

my bad

2009-02-26T13:08:00.001-06:00

last weekend was my bad. i was drawn in by the lure of s/f candy (it was the sale price that did it, damn you pricing gods!!). i realized after 2 days of over endulging that i had to take the reins and get back on track. i am happy to report that i focused and kept on plan after the ruff weekend, and as of this morning my weight is back at last week's weigh in. i would be disappointed if i hadn't overcome a little fall of the wagon... but i did! i'm thrilled to know i can pick myself up, dust myself off and continue on. i am reassured that this is my way of eating and a life change for good.

cheers to an on plan weekend!

snow covered weekend

2009-02-20T16:00:00.001-06:00

weigh in time! i must have convinced my body i was concerned, because i had a loss!

last week: 207.2
this week: 205.6!

1.6... and i will take it! it is supposed to snow like a mad man tomorrow, so i might be hibernating saturday :)

have a lovely weekend!

grrrrr

2009-02-20T11:41:00.001-06:00

today i declined a part time job offer. it was too far away and too late at night. it was a good decision and i will find a different one. it still disappoints me though, grrrrr.

thanks for the comments people! you are all fabulous. i don't care how much i lose this week! well, as long as i don't gain hahaha. today is an "i feel thin" day, so i'm feeling awesome. AND IT'S FRIDAY!! i really haven't gotten enough sleep all week, so i'm lookin' forward to some quality bed and me time over the weekend.

omg i bought sunflower seed kernels a couple days ago. DE-LICIOUS, but salty as hell. it's like eating salt... delicious sunflower seed flavored salt. i made the wise decision to leave them at work. that way i won't go crazy on them over the weekend :)

humph

2009-02-19T09:06:00.001-06:00

this week isn't planning out so well... at least in the weight loss arena. i think there will be a loss, but a very small one at that. i guess it can be expected after the pretty decent numbers the last few weeks, but i'm impatient! i will have to wait until my body realizes i'm still serious :)

i think i'll measure tonight. i've only ever measured my waist. i will do more tonight, so that i have another way to track my progress (sadekat told me to). it's too bad i didn't do it sooner, just from the waist numbers i know i've lost quite a bit. i still have weight to lose though, so it will be good for weeks like these where i may need a reminder that health and weight loss is much more than the number on the scale.

chai's and cyagirl's switch to counting calories intrigue me and i think that might be a great idea for me in the future. (i'll put links for their awesome blogs later, i'm at work and emailing this post lol) i think for now i will concentrate on a clean induction style food plan and consistent exercise. i went a little wild and crazy with cheese and dairy this week :) i live in wisconsin.

side note: damn those california cow commericals!! they anger me. cows don't like to be hot! i often yell at the tv during those commercials, gah! ok, end of california cow rant.

in non-weight loss news, i'm going to book club tonight! it's my first time and i'm excited. i'm meeting two friends for dinner and then we're going together. i have no idea who is in it besides my two friends and i have no idea where it is, haha. i did read the book though, so i've got that down.

holy mackerel

2009-02-15T21:16:00.005-06:00

4 month low carb-iversay! i started on october 15, 2008. i weighed in today at...

207.2!

on low carb that's a total of 56.8 lost! and 60.8 total! (after i finally weighed myself in august)

here's a little comparison photo - the red garb was for a badger football game! and it's actually one of the better ones, some are just too terrible:

pink hearts everywhere

2009-02-14T12:29:00.002-06:00

happy valentine's day! tell everyone you love you love them, but don't necessarily go all commercial holiday crazy on them. :)

i kinda failed at keeping up with the posting of foods... woops! for the last 2 days i've essentially had taco salad for every meal. my mom brought home "left overs" from dinner at a friends house and apparently they made enough for a family of 12 to have 4 dinners. it's crazy how much taco meat was in our fridge. bad news because i loooove tacos and i tend to eat more than i should... AND the store bought seasoning has sugar and more carbs than you should be eating on a carb conscious plan (i would normally just season the meat with cumin and other delicious taco spices).

oh and i didn't forget to weigh in, i just haven't yet. i started low carbing on october 15, 2008, so i thought it would be fitting to weigh in tomorrow on the 15th for my 4 month anniversary. it's not gonna be too exciting especially with the loads of taco meat i have consumed in the past 2 days hahaha.

i will post my weight here tomorrow whether or not i have time to make a weigh in video for youtube, so you'll be the first ones to know the results for da week.

love somebody today, people like that ;)

shut up brain

2009-02-11T09:05:00.001-06:00

i used to think too much about exercise. my mind would dwell. i would talk myself out of things or make deals with myself... like if i was not feeling like exercising as planned i'd tell myself as long as i did it the next day or as long as i ate very well that would be fine. thinking like this and making those decisions always ended with regret. the time spent exercising is far and beyond worth the energy and happy endorphins it produces… let alone the health benefits that result.

i had one of those arguments with my brain yesterday… by 2pm i had decided that i could skip the y as long as i ate well that evening. luckily, the brilliant weather yesterday and a little bit of logic kicked in and i auto piloted over to the y after work. it felt good to overcome that illogical train of thought. i know those arguments will still come up, but i'm glad to know i can overcome them too. here's to a new way of thinking!

yesterday food wise:
breakfast: burger patty (lol, yeah it looked good idk)
lunch: s/f jello! green beans and roast beef
snack: cold hot dog :)
dinner: chicken salad and fresh spinach (delish)

drinks:
48 oz water
12 oz diet coke (it was staring at me)

monday, monday

2009-02-09T21:47:00.003-06:00

busy work day, sleepy evening. i have an interview for a pt job wednesday evening, i figure more money can't be bad. i saw "he's just not that into you" on sunday, and enjoyed it thoroughly. i love that justin long. my only complaint about it would be scarlett johanson, she just rubs me the wrong way. a longer more interesting post will happen in the near future, i swear :)

breakfast: none (shame on me)
lunch: low carb tortilla, roast beef, turkey and mayo (3.5)
snack: salami and cheese (2)
din din: 2 burger patties w/cheese, mayo and low carb ketchup, green beans (7)

3.5 16oz bottles o' water (i refill one at work)
1 12 oz orange la croix water

i'm gonna try and concentrate on water this week especially after that sodium filled weekend :)

food glorious food

2009-02-08T20:38:00.004-06:00

i wanted to make sure and keep up with sadekat's challenge to post everything consumed this week, but i'm super tired from a day of driving... here's a quick post:

sunday's menu

8 strips of bacon (yes 8, bacon is a once in a while item, we were out to eat and i went to town) (1.0)
3 sausage links (0.5)
2 scrambled eggs (1.5)

10 slices of cucumber (1.5)
3 slices green pepper (1.0)
chicken breast (0)

cobb salad from culver's sans croutons (12)
less than 1/2 ranch dressing (1.5)

1 22 oz diet caffeine free pepsi (0)
2 20 oz waters (0)

i'm a dork

2009-02-06T17:43:00.002-06:00

As promised here's the weigh in video... I dorked out just a bit when editing this video, so get ready for it. :) If you wanna see the first 2 I made you can see them here. I will post them on my blog from now on.

crazytalk

2009-02-06T08:18:00.002-06:00

Hi all! It's Friday, so let's just hop to it...

Weigh in: 209.8

3.8 down since last week's weigh in of 213.6

That's crazytalk! There was definitely a whoosh this week. I had loads of water and I can't even remember eating anything sweet after the delicous broccoli crunch was gone. I exercised, but not as much as I planned. That's part of my goal for this week, consistent exercise and eating to my BMR. I can't let changes in my schedule effect my need to exercise, stop being a lazy self! I will also pre-plan my meals this week, there was far too much "aaaah! I don't have anything ready for lunch today!" last week.

I actually weighed in yesterday because I wanted to make a youtube video and I won't have enough time today... and doh! I forgot to say here that I started vlogging too! It's pretty frightening, but I love editing the videos. I used to do a podcast with my roommates and I miss the fun of producing. I made 2 short videos so far... I will link em later today when I get home from work.

Last night I made my first weigh in video, got it uploaded and then had technical difficulties and took it down. It will be up again this evening though, I promise.

Thanks sooo much to Sadekat and Justacameragirl for commenting on it! I'm sad I didn't realize til it was gone :(

Have a great weekend everybody!

gimme some sugar

2009-02-02T18:55:00.005-06:00

i love linda. her recipes are amazing, and her listing of nutrients with both granular splenda and liquid splenda inspired me to finally try some liquid sweetener. i am kinda weirded out by the idea of liquid sweetener and the fact that i must order it online, but... i saw a link for ez-sweetz. i paid less than 3 dollars shipping and handling for a sample. it's an itty bitty baby bottle, i've lost it a couple times already haha. it says it has 180 drops in it and 24 drops equals 1 cup of sugar sweetness. worth my 3 dollars.

i avoid eating sweetener in general, but it's nice to have some recipes with sweetness sometimes. it takes the edge off if i'm craving something i shouldn't be.

my first two experiments with it were cole slaw (i loooove cole slaw, but the granular splenda was making it a bit too carby for my menus) and linda's broccoli crunch salad. both turned out wonderfully. i took the cole slaw to work and the guys devoured it, i was sad i didn't have more lol. i haven't tried any baking with it yet, so that will be my next experiment :)

here's a pic of the broccoli crunch!